上来献丑小作文了

一车农民 · 发表于 2010-3-26 18:29:27

咪咪，写英文习惯同中文还是很不一样的。特别是开头，我们中国人喜欢说：近来好吗？好久不见。英语信件里似乎没有必要，直接开头： I am writing to you to ...这个万能句型还是比较保险。

关于一些语法错误，楼上已经指出，就不多说。

但是从整个文笔来看，中文痕迹重了些。

2g3i1270 · 发表于 2010-3-26 18:44:38

完了我最怕就是中文痕迹重了些。。。

桃叶何渡 · 发表于 2010-3-27 05:50:21

咪咪，在你基础上改的，切磋切磋。

Dear Jim,

We haven't been in touch since you went back to Canada. How are you recently?

I am holding a party to celebrate the first anniversary of our graduation. Many of our classmates are coming.
Although you are now in Canada, I still wish very much that you could come. We shared a dorm for 4 years, and you are my best friend on campus. I cherish our friendship and miss you so much.

This party is not formal, so you can take your girl friend with you. It will be held all day on Feb.2 2010. I know you will be on vacation that time so please do come and join us. I have booked meeting room 309 of our University which can accommodate 100 persons.

Remember how to get to the campus? Take bus 178 or 2111 outside of the airport.

When you arrive at the campus you will be guided to the meeting room.

I am looking forward to your reply.

Yours sincerely,
TOM

[]

2g3i1270 · 发表于 2010-3-27 12:29:42

多谢楼上的我发现我的作文确实写的不匝地还自我感觉良好
刚才高人指出我的长句写的太难看，而且有点牵强。
收教了～

yxjpv904483 · 发表于 2010-3-27 18:02:19

This party is not formal, so you can take your girl friend with you. 这句话逻辑有点问题,老外看了可能有点莫名. 为什么不正式,就可以带女朋友了?难道正式,就不能带了?

一般这样的信件,最好三段话了~~

2g3i1270 · 发表于 2010-3-28 02:44:27

还是觉得茉莉花开的不错！！厉害厉害阿～

Dear Jim,
We have not contacted with each other for one year since you went back to Canada. How are you recently?

I am writing this letter to invite you to join the party which I will hold to celebrate the first anniversary of our graduation. many of our classmates are coming. Although your are now in Cnanada, I still wish very much that you could come. We shared a dorm for 4 years, and you are my best friend on campus. I cherish our friendship and miss you so much.

This party is not formal, so you can take your girl friend with you. It will be held all day on Feb 2nd 2010. I know you will be on vacation that time so please come and join us.
I have booked the meeting room 309 of our University which can accommodate 100 persons. Do you remember how to get to the campus ? You can take bus 178 or 2111 outside of the airport. When you arrive at the campus you will be guided to the meeting room.

I am look forward to hearing form you soon.

yours sincerely,
Tom

明天我接着写一篇

pmrv8014 · 发表于 2010-3-28 14:38:04

[quote]原帖由于 24-3-2010 03:52 发表
还是觉得茉莉花开的不错！！厉害厉害阿～

We have not contacted with each other for one year since you went back to Canada.
多谢夸奖，全都是你的内容，就是改了语法小错，调整了一下顺序。
另，咪咪，contact不能加with，直接加contact的对象

oakxo189320 · 发表于 2010-3-28 22:28:02

看到LZ的小作文，我很激动，因为我和你一样在复议。考了两次都是6分。但是自我感觉，第二次比第一次要充分得多。你的作文好像有点语法错误，下面已经有TX讲了。看到一个OFFICIAL PARTY---是不是FORMAL PARTY？

n0fy7n31 · 发表于 2010-3-29 04:24:39

你开头是比较随意的HI。但是结尾用的SINCERELY,就不对应了。一般好友，我看可以用YOURS/LOVE这类

2g3i1270 · 发表于 2010-3-29 10:09:15

还是没有明白你激动什么阿？终于发现比你差的么？？嘿嘿
我上次只有5.5 这次要复议到6分不过我现在觉得不怎么可能了确实写的不好阿

[雅思杂谈] 上来献丑小作文了

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