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小艺艺 · 发表于 2010-5-5 17:51:36

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题目：

Some people prefer to live in a house,while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment.

Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

正文：

In the present age,the increasingly growth of economy  make the number of rich people larger than before.The house which is considered to be a luxury living place,being accepted by more citizens.It is obviously that living in the house could be more private and comfortable.However,normal house located in the suburban area which means less convinent than apartment in the city center.From my point of view,I prefer living in the house.

Firstly,the area of house is larger than normal apartment.In that case,parents and children can live together and take care of each other.Secondly,if you don't want to be disturbed by others，house is a good choice for you.You can enjoy the family life without hearing the yelling from neighbours.Thirdly,you can have  a small yard  to plant what you like, such as flowers,vegetables,which make you feel natural.

On the other hand,living in the house may bring you  some inconvenience.The reason is that normal houses are far away from the downtown.So it takes you more time  to  travel from the house to working place,and vice versa.Obviously,in terms of safety,the houses which located in the suburb could have more dangerous  than the apartment in the cities.Nevertheless,I believe people can afford 1 hour travel for work.And the goverment is paying more attention to control the crime in the suburbs nowdays.

In summary,living in the house would change your lifestyle in some aspects which make you enjoy your personal life.Despite that,you will feel lonely sometimes because you live far away from your friends.I'm convinced that living in a house is more suitable for me. I can spend more time with my family and meet my friends in the weekend for barbecue in the yard.Moreover,I can afford the travel time between office and house.And finding a good house is my next target.

tykomzzx57 · 发表于 2010-5-5 23:08:14

估计5~5.5左右，有比较明显的语法错误及中式表达，文章结构倒是清晰，句子结构及用词稍欠火候

jacknlld · 发表于 2010-5-6 07:29:05

In the present age,the increasingly(前面的是adv,growth是n) growth of economy make(S) the number of rich people larger than before.The house which (which應該是多餘的吧？不確定)is considered to be a luxury living place,being accepted by more citizens.It is obviously (adv，應該用adj)that living in the house could be more private and comfortable.However,normal house located in the suburban area which(这个which也是多的吧？) means less convinent （convenient）than apartment in the city center.From my point of view(point of view感觉挺陌生，不知道有没有这么用的。),I prefer living in the house.
不好意思啊，我的作文也很差，共同学习～～～

futgu918 · 发表于 2010-5-6 11:04:43

中式英语的痕迹很重啊。

蜗牛大亨 · 发表于 2010-5-6 15:27:14

working place, 是标准中式英语。 work即可，work可以做名词的，工作地点。
我是菜鸟哈，但觉得你的作文不如我的，而我的分数在5.5-6之间，就是说俩分数都考过。

gootdlan921 · 发表于 2010-5-6 23:51:44

哦对了，你这个套模板的痕迹有点重。最好别用现成的模板，先自己按照自己的思路写几篇，然后总结出自己的模板为好，个人观点。

cuosg9s8f8l · 发表于 2010-5-7 09:19:40

楼主同学，我上考场估计也就这个水平...
不过现在有充分的时间帮你改改～～呵呵，改错别见怪
In the present age,the increasingly growth of economy make（s） the number of rich people larger than before.The house which is considered to be a luxury living place,being(is) accepted by more citizens.It is obviously that living in the house could be(be 不太好吧，改成feel，减少用be动词啊) more private and comfortable.However,normal house located in the suburban area which means less convinent than apartment in the city center.From my point of view,I prefer living in the house.

antichrist · 发表于 2010-5-7 13:23:49

Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

题目是这样问的，你觉得住house和住apartment相比是的优点多还是缺点多
如果楼主回答你喜欢住house，那么这个问题只回答了一半哦！如果审题错误可能只有4-5分的
中国人会推测，我喜欢住house么肯定是说house的优点多咯。
不过外国人可能不一定这么想，喜欢住house是个人的选择，不一定有点就多咧
最好还是补充一句，说住house的优点多，所以我选择住house

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crrtq241 · 发表于 2010-5-7 19:57:03

Firstly,the area（space） of house is larger than normal apartment.In that case,parents and children can live together and take care of each other（我明白楼主的意思，不过最好说明一下...应该是说既可以照顾孩子又可以兼顾老人吧，不然apartment也可以和孩子一起住啊）.Secondly,if you don't want to be disturbed by others，house is a good choice for you.You can enjoy the family life without hearing the yelling from neighbours（这个比喻...有点...你可以说不受交通噪音的影响）.Thirdly,you can have a small yard to plant what you like, such as flowers,vegetables,which make you feel natural.

优点很明确...语言很简洁...基本都是简单句哦...

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94gyhucio7 · 发表于 2010-5-7 21:21:02

On the other hand,living in the house may bring you some inconvenience.The reason is that normal houses are far away from the downtown.So it takes you more time to travel from the house to working place,and vice versa.Obviously,in terms of safety,the houses which located in the suburb could have more dangerous than the apartment in the cities（概念有问题...在国外，城市里面的治安比郊区差多了...在中国别墅区也是最安全的...最好举例说明一下，不然没有说服力啊）.Nevertheless,I believe people can afford 1 hour travel for work.And the goverment is paying more attention to control the crime in the suburbs nowdays.

问题...为什么感觉缺点比优点多呢？

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