分享学习计划+每天作文练习

最难缠钉子户 · 发表于 2011-1-28 05:01:21

其实，我的结构就是根据您以前提出的意见进行改的，主要是每段开头要写出核心词，其实我也不是盲目崇拜您，我是看了很多范文，更准确来说，就英文的写作习惯，总是可以在每段的首句或第二句找到整段的核心意思，因为我们做阅读就是这么干的，有段落的读前三句就能掌握该段主义，所以我认为这是比较地道的英文表达，而且经过研究范文我也肯定了这点，所以我很认同，而且坚决地改正过来。再次非常感谢3WU老师的帮助。
但有的地方我还是很confuse，例如开头介绍背景的问题，因为我看过很多老外的范文，虽然当初只顾背单词，但或多或少记得一些，有很多的开头只是介绍背景，但不啰嗦，也没给出结论和自己的意见。但作为localau内的金牌老师，我也认同您的观点，毕竟八分作文也不一定风格相同，就像前段时间看的一猛兄帖子，他模仿Economist的报道风格，完全抛弃八股文的风格，拿到了7的高分。呵呵，但我等这辈是不想了。。。
当然，首尾呼应也是完整结构的条件之一。

谢谢您的帮助^_^

最难缠钉子户 · 发表于 2011-1-28 15:47:35

蜜蜂兄，我知道你现在时间紧，还有5天要考试了，3WU老师在文章结构上是很有一套，我在以前就经过他的指点，而且就像我前面回3WU老师帖子写的一样。例如，我们做阅读就是先看前三句掌握段落大意，议论文也如此，因为我们看的阅读基本就是议论文。
但你现在时间紧，我觉得你作文写得比我好，但如果刻意去强求改变可能结果会很惨，因为这需要时间练习，但审题的确很重要，有些题目看似类似其实隐藏玄机，就像前天的那个tourism里的firstly。
在你考试前夕，我也想给你提个醒，临近考试和考试时，尽量写自己熟悉而且正确的句式，不要太多纠缠于变化，有时间的话可以改的，但若考试时间不够一切都是浮云。
加油！我也看好你。

最难缠钉子户 · 发表于 2011-1-28 23:57:30

仅以微薄之力，改一些个人比较确定的问题。还望有高人批改。

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aegean1980 · 发表于 2011-1-29 11:13:11

照闪动同学的文章写了一段，没有开头和结尾，求修改

Firstly, I think that presenting features more than necessary is likely to be a factor in driving up criminal incidence higher.

Those villains having anti-society minds could have learned from it, for example, the knowledge of how police look for evidence might help the criminal in confusing police.
In consequence, it could lead to public panic when police frequently failed to arrest the felons.
Moreover, it is more likely for immature youths to imitate the offence behaviors when provided with detailed descriptions of crime.
In addition, considering the family of victim, who already suffered bitterly from the tragedy and trying hard to forget it, could be again stricken hardly by the cruel criminal scene.

On the other hand, however, law-breaking reports can raise the awareness of law amongst citizens and are very helpful for ordinary people to learn how to protect themselves. For instance, people would know what to do when facing a robbery if they already watched such kind of news.

In my point of view, although such kind of media has a positive influence in constructing a peaceful society, providing immoderate details of crime is merely a trick of some pulpy media to attract audience, which is irresponsible and perilous.

cuog9t7c8d7 · 发表于 2011-1-29 16:23:47

我个人不是很建议临考换结构，因为每个人多多少少有自己的模板，临考换很容易乱了自己的阵脚。

但是如果还有很多练习时间的话，还是可以的。雅思一定要处处点题，随便一个词一句话都要死死扣住题目，不然肯定降一个档次。

当然，基本语法还是很重要的。句型的多样性也是拉分的关键。建议有条件的话准备一句虚拟语气，一句倒装，语法正确用处恰当的情况下可以拉0.5分。

我那会写的时候，小故事开头引出话题，第二段三句式议论加3个例子，第三段必杀排比句抹杀反面观点，第四段用1-2个时事深度比较双方观点优劣，然后抒情的结尾+点题引出无数思考 = = 考官貌似蛮受用的 = =| 考下来each band >= 8 我自己也吓了一跳 = =

46gyhuhjh6 · 发表于 2011-1-29 18:11:58

EmilyS 在166 楼给的建议值得参考。

我觉得蜜蜂的语言基础比较扎实，语法，句式发挥稳定。但要上升7分或以上，结构的调整很重要。
只是你现在时间紧迫，不见得一下子能掌握好。

给个建议：雅思作文要勇敢地去辩论，哪怕列举歪理，哪怕捏造事实也要举出例证，最好是时事，统计（捏造也可）。只有这样，你的段落观点才可以殷实饱满地拓展开来。

分享一个基本结构：
其实你段落中的每一个小分观点都能组织成一个段落。
第一句：核心中心句（落实到扣题的关键词）。第二句根据核心词拓展解释。第三，第四句，枚举例子。最后一句，根据例子归纳核心。

关于闪动说得对开头不能啰嗦，但要注意字字珠玑，不说与题目无关紧要的东西。有时候那几句不罗嗦的引题中，已经隐含了各段要讨论的核心词，只是没有把内容展开。是否能自然隐晦地导出各段讨论对象，有时需要语言积累，尤其是词汇变化。其中最容易把握的方法可以是列举：
比如简单一句：旅游业的发展会对国家的经济，文化有所影响。

夜泊疯桥 · 发表于 2011-1-29 18:49:49

There we go, come on. My second essay is ready.

Q: Giving detailed descriptions of crime by newspaper and television, someone says it would make bad consequence, this kind of media should be restricted. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A:
Nowadays, whether media shuch as newspaper and televidion should sway detailed descriptions of crimes to public or not, brings disscussions around people.

In my opinion, it would be better to put some restricts to the detailed and vivid decsriptions . First of all, the specification of the crime, which is reported by the media, will probably be copied by other people, who are potential to commit crimes, i.e. these detailed contents may become inspirations to the potential offenders. Furthermore, broadcasting of criminal activities from media would make others feel that the society is unsafe and is filled with unstable conditions, thereby affecting the normal lives to everyone. Moreover, when the criminals have finished the jail period, if the descriptions of his illegal experiences have not been shared by publlic , it would be much easier for him or her to face the new life after the punishment.

Howerver, others consider that the whole things of criminal activities should be revealed to all of us. Hence, these would make warning to public and will pull the criminal rate down. Anyhow, these will make deeply impression to people, who have ever lived around the criminals before so that everyone should pay attention to the actions and behaviours of the person , who is just released form the jail.

Though there may be some profits that we will absorb profits from the detailed presentation of public media on the criminal issues. I still prefer that detailed secrets should be protected due to his or her personel human rights. Others should have no rights to reveal it in public . Anyhow these actions have committed to crimes.

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最难缠钉子户 · 发表于 2011-1-30 01:38:02

这篇文章创新了一下，不知是好是坏。
The twenty-second essay:

Lectures in the past were used as a way of teaching large number of students. but nowadays the development of technology, we do not use lectures. do you agree?

Answer:

As technologies are developing rapidly on educational area in this day and age, there various new pedagogical methodologies have occurred. By contrast, the traditional teaching methodology — the lecture seems inferior to the new methods in some aspects. In despite of that, traditional method still have the inherent advantages thus it might never be replaced but integrated into new technical methods.

It is no doubt that high progressing technologies have brought education into a new era. First and foremost, distance learning allow students to have classes everywhere every time. Students will find that convenient and informative as well since they can attend classes as they wish time and can take oversea classes at home. Vice versa, teachers are also benefit from this cutting-edge technology. They can meanwhile teach students further then before. There are countless students in teachers' virtual classroom when they update the a new lesson on the Internet, and they can reply students' questions online whatever they are. Furthermore, media classes are also the popular high technical pedagogical methods. That transform conventional humdrum lectures into illustrated and graphic classes. In consequence, that not only stimulating students' interest of classes but also making they easier to grasp the lessons' contents.

However, as not all the students are willing to study, the distance educations give them excessive freedom of study that could cause the problem that a part of students would never study. Whereas, the one of traditional lectures' main functions is to regulate the students from class attendance to school discipline. additionally, a school is society in miniature. Students will acquire societal experience via attending reality classes and dealing with their classmates and tutors face to face.

While, whatever distance education, media classroom and conventional lecture are not mutual exclusively. Contrarily, they can be integrated together. By that, tutors can make their students happier in the lecture halls and help their students revising classes on Internet after school.

Summarily, in my view, technical teaching mathodologies and lectures are not mutual exclusively. The lectures should not be substituted but integrated into new technical methods.

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最难缠钉子户 · 发表于 2011-1-30 01:56:44

以上必杀技。。。用中文写就无敌了，何况用英文。学习了。

最难缠钉子户 · 发表于 2011-1-30 04:43:58

我的上面这篇作文尝试着靠着您说的所有结构去写，看来这个方法不列提纲真的会写跑题。等于是开头就把文章定下来了。

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