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19#
发表于 2011-9-19 11:27:39
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只看该作者
来自: INNA
本人剩最后一次考雅思了,求各位高手帮忙改一下作文
(这句中文有语病,建议修改为:本人剩最后一次雅思考试的机会了,……)
some teachers say students should be organised into groups to study. others argue students should be made to study alone. tell the benefits of each study method.which one do you think is more effective?
children's education is a hot topic always concerned by our society.People try to find out an effective way for students to study.Amongst the teachers ,views vary from people to peple,some of whom claim that students should study with groups;whist others believe that studying alone is more effective. In my observation, studying in a group is more effective.
children's没有必要,题目没有说任何children。可以是children,可以是teenager,也可以是adult,所有人都包括。
for students to study\\from people to people\\有点redundant。
teachers前面不用加the,个人意见。
some of whom没有这个用法吧。
in group不是with groups。
whist是什么?
建议写成如下:
Education is one of hottest topics and draws wide attention. To find an effective study approach, views amongst teachers vary. Some claim that student should study in groups. Whereas others believe that studying alone is more effective. As far as I am concerned, I agree with the former opinion.
Merits of studying with groups are numerous; i now intend to present some. to begin with ,students study in a group have more chance to communicate with others,which makes their academic studies more effective.For instance,if school children have problems about their courses; they can discuss the question with their classmates. in this process,it is very easy for them to remember the knowledge. what is more, studying groups save their time to look for the reference books. If they have questions,they just enquiry with their schoolmates. Finally, groups study makes the studying atmosphere more lively,because they have discussion.Then, schoolchildren will not feel that studying is very boring.
in a group建议改成in groups,
more chance建议改成more chances
school children中文我知道,学校的孩子们,英文建议可以换一种方式,例如children in school。
problems ----question近义词转换做到了,但是单复数问题考虑不周到。
studying gourp改成studying in group,look for改成look up或者直接改成consult。
groups study改成group study,discussion改成interaction,
It is undeniable that studying alone has its benefits.this is mainly due to the fact that students can concertrated on their tasks.They cannot be disturbed by others for there is no discussion around them and students cannot be distracted by their classmates behaviors. Additionally, students can perform on their own ways, if they study alone.For example,they can read loudly if they want to ease their minds. BUT they can not do this when studying with groups as they need to considerate others feeling.
benefits改成advantages.
this is mainly due to the fact that改成for
concentrate拼写错误
they will not be disturbed by discussion.
on their own ways改成in their own ways
considerate是adj,这里需要vt。
in conclusion, even study alone has its advantages, i still believe that group study is an effective way for children to learn.
even改成even though.
for children to learn可以删除
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