写作一直达不到6分怎么办(过了,谢谢大家)

秦家的老虎 · 发表于 2011-8-23 19:35:24

马上注册，结交更多同城好友，享用更多功能！

您需要登录才可以下载或查看，没有帐号？立即注册

x

今天看到heb30的帖子说9月3日的雅思成绩出来了，我非常紧张地登陆网站查询，结果很出乎意料：听力6.5/阅读6.5/写作6.5/口语6，我简直不敢相信自己的眼睛。这个成绩对于坛子里的牛人们来说根本不值一提，可是对我这个基础差得要死，写作从没考过6分的人来说，真是天大的惊喜，终于过了，这也意味着自己不用去参加9月24日的那一场可以说是决定命运的考试，如果那一天还要坐到考场里，我估计自己也会吓得考不出什么了吧！

这里非常隆重地感谢localau的TZ们，自8月23日第一次发求助帖，好多热心的网友加入进来，大家提出各种意见建议，而且是非常详细中肯的，我和LP几乎每天都要打开帖子研究大家的回复意见。一些网友像3WU、Vzrain、Kuthlaav、YUEXMA等等还逐字、逐段地分析说明，用LP的话说“比我的VIP写作老师还上心”。还有一位叫jho的网友主动发来短信让我们加QQ，并和我们分享他的作文考试经验，真的让人非常感动。不管怎么说，这次能过，我觉得有幸运的成份，也有我自己的一点努力，不过让我感触最深的还是来自家人的支持以及陌生人的热诚。再次衷心地谢谢大家！

这一年来考了不知多少次了，其他项都上了6分，就是写作一直5分或5.5，平时练习作文都写了两个笔记本了，培训课也交了不少钱，但写作就是提高不上去，不知问题出在哪里，恳请坛子里的高手帮忙指正下，先谢谢大家了。小作文：

a.Your English teacher who taught you several years have invited you to have a meal at his house, but you can not go,1)explain the reason;2) suggest next arrangement;3)tell him about yourself and your improvement in English learning.

我的练习：

Dear Professor James:

Thank you for inviting me to have meals at your house next Friday. It was my great honor. I am sorry to tell you that I am not available on that day. Because I have an exam at my university. I am sorry for any inconvenience caused by this change.

After finishing the high school,I was accepted by XX University with the major of English. In the university, I always use the methods you taught me to practice English, which makes great contribution to my overall English ability. When it comes to this ,I should take this opportunity to thank you. In the final exam last year, I won the first prize in the Department of English. And this year I am going to study Cambridge Business English for getting a favourable position in future.

Last week, we were informed that we will have final exam on next Fiday. So important the exam is that I can not miss. But it causes you many inconvenience. Please forgive me. I am very happy to have an opportunity to have meal with you . Considering that I have exam on Friday. Is it possible to arrange on Monday, 26th July? If it is not suit your schedule, please let me know. So we can make alternative arrangement. You can contact me on XXXX. I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Best regards

[]

秦家的老虎 · 发表于 2011-8-23 20:40:47

大作文： Some believe that air travel should be restricted because it causes serious pollution and use up the world "fuel resource",to what extent, do ou agree and disagree.

The subject of the relative of air travel and environmental problem is a frequent topic discussed by general public air trave, some believe that should be retricted as it causes severe pollution and use up all the fuel resource. In this essay, I intend to analyze this issue.
Manifest is the fact that air travel produce. Serious pollution on the world. To begin with, fossil fuel is the main resource to air travel and burning of fuel emits a great deal of Carbon dioxide , which results in the global warming. That is the reason why many endanger species are on the verge of extinction.The second pollution I want to mention is noise pollution. Well-known is that air planes produce great noise to the community in the vicinity of the airport. It is very common for people living around the airport to suffer insomnia and other mental diseases caused by noise.
On the other hand, from certain aspect, I do not agree with opinion that air travel consume all the fuel resource in the world. As the common knowledge tells me that the fuel resource is also used in other aspects ,such as households, traffics, to make the great contribution to the progress of our society. And air planes only consume one fifth of all the resource.
From what discussed above, I can safely draw a conclusion that air travel does produce severe pollution, but it does not use up all the resource. Therefore, some on essential flights can be cut down to reduce the pollution.

imissu72 · 发表于 2011-8-23 22:12:42

松散的句子太多。有些句子不错，但是整段就没有了气势。

秦家的老虎 · 发表于 2011-8-24 01:10:44

大家都说小作文比较好写，可是补习老师说我的小作文有时会拖大作文的后腿，真是这样吗？当然这不是说我的大作文写得多好，而是小作文写得更不好，真是烦死了。

秦家的老虎 · 发表于 2011-8-24 06:08:01

To 3#的朋友，可以说得具体一点吗，，万分感谢

秦家的老虎 · 发表于 2011-8-24 14:17:48

所谓的逻辑到底是什么，我觉得自己也经常分出一二三点来论证，怎么就经常被说成逻辑不够。。。。郁闷。

cmx5h6xg · 发表于 2011-8-24 17:20:40

1. 一看就中国文体味太浓的议论文，比如In this essay, I intend to analyze this issue. 读了通篇总感觉遣词不太地道，有点像拼模板
2. The second pollution I want to mention is noise pollution 这种mention什么的口语化单词最好不要出现
3 语法错误还是不少

秦家的老虎 · 发表于 2011-8-24 23:22:52

谢谢LS的，希望大家继续指出问题啊。。

it5f1m4i0e · 发表于 2011-8-25 06:55:25

楼主,你背了几篇范文? 我之前也是总是5.5,后来背了5篇范文,感觉不一样了,写的时候.建议你试试

秦家的老虎 · 发表于 2011-8-25 18:12:20

To #9：背范文还真没试过，因为经常被告诫说不要套模板，不要背范文，所以也就没去试了，真的这么有效吗？看来我接下来我要加进这个训练。谢谢。

[雅思杂谈] 写作一直达不到6分怎么办(过了,谢谢大家)

马上注册，结交更多同城好友，享用更多功能！

个人中心