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24#
发表于 2011-9-21 04:27:11
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只看该作者
来自： INNA
我就不客气了……
HOMEWORK: Unemployment is one of the most serious problems facing developed nations today. What are the advantages and/or disadvantages of reducing the working week to thirty five hours?
In developed countries, they are suffering for lots of social problems, especially for high unemployment rates. To solve this issue, it is suggested that the authorities could ask employees work less one hour than before. In my view, it is a valuable solution to societies, but not always.
第一个they，作为代词，他指代谁，是countries还是people还是who？
suffer from是一个词组，suffer for不是。
especially for的for可以也必须去掉。
it is suggested that后面句子需要用should或者动词原形。
从40小时到35小时，我理解是每天减少一个小时，所以one hour per day，这个需要说清楚。
solution一般不用valuable来形容，可以用effective, effecient, useful等，而且societies前需要加the或者其他冠词。
To employees, they could benefit from several aspects. First, these unemployed individuals could get chances to meet the request of employ, which could greatly enhance their families’ economy conditions. Second, it could give people more leisure time than before. Then they could stay with their families for more time and could take more sports activities to improve their physical heath. Added to this, long rest time can provide them with more energy to their work affairs, which can generally improve their production efficiencies. Finally, decreasing work time could improve the developments of domestic commerce. More people could be employed and more spare time could be offered, which is the motivation of consuming activities.
To employees建议改成for employees，个人理解。还有，could的时态问题，口语没有关系，如果正文还是建议由于时态原因改成can，除非表示猜测等。
meet the request of employ最后一个词是否应该是the employers或者employment。
economy是动词，所以ecomonic。
it could give people more leisure time里面的it不要解释，所以建议改成被动句型，more leisure time could be given to people或者more leisure time is available.
developments，production efficiencies这些都是概念词，貌似应该都是不可数，所以用single form。
However, disadvantages should not be ignored. Less working time means employers should request more employees to do the same job than before. It is obvious that they will cost more to run a company or a factory. Consequently, they will be in stiffer international competitions because of high cost. If with reducing taxes, business owners may not suffer from it. Furthermore, considering the increasing cost, some employers may have trends to give their staff heavy workload instead of hiring additional employees. Obviously, it will harm employees’ benefits. Then, governments should pay attention to this trend and should take measures to deal with it.
means employers中间建议加一个that，这样才构成从句。
they will cost more有点问题，要么it will cost more，要么they will spend more。
they will be in siffer international……这句读不通，要么in a stiffer place/position in international，要么其他的。
if with这句，也有问题，可以修改成only with reduced taxes,
may not suffer from it建议改成may suffer less.
In conclusion, decreasing work time to improve employment rates is reasonable to the society, even though there are some disadvantages that could be solved.
粗略看了一遍，就写这么些。仅供参考，有错误的大家指出来，一笑了之。
还有，你之前writing大概是多少分？好奇的问问。
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