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12#
发表于 2011-12-11 01:11:56
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只看该作者
来自： INNA
可能稍微有一点偏题，因为题目说的是不同种类的工作，没有说在不同公司工作怎么样。lz两个都说了，但是又没有明确化。总的来说，结构还是很规范，细节需要再加强。
What type of work do you prefer? This is a hot topic [hot topic不够正式，不宜出现在essay中，改为：topic of frequent discussion] these days. Some people prefer to stay the type of work all their lives, while others prefer to change the type of work [不要引用原句，要换一种表达方式，如：Some people prefer to stick to one type of work, while others tend to try different types of work through out their lives]. Let’s see together what their reasons [似乎the reasons更好一点，因为reason是这个现象的reason，而不是这些人的reason] are.
People who prefer to stay the type of work all their lives think [believe，尽量不用think这种口语化的词] that a stable work can provide them with [with去掉] a stable life. They argue that today’s society is [少了一个a] competitive one, [用句号] in order to survive in this cutthroat society, people must have a stable work with a steady income. Otherwise, people might easily fall into poverty. They also point that a long-term job can promote their working [work，不需要ing] efficiency and productivity, which will benefit both individuals and companies. What is more [Furthermore], it can improve employees’ loyalty to the company. It is reported that in Japan [加,] where companies are most of [are with mostly] lifelong employees, so that [去掉so that。去掉之后语法通了，但是employees连在一起太重复了，还需进一步修改] employees do their endeavor in their work, which makes their companies more competent [competitive] in the world.
However, those who prefer to change the type of work claim that they can benefit a lot from it. First of all, working in different companies with different types of work can greatly enrich their working experience and make them more capable in society. As we known, [It is known to all that] working [work] experience is quite [very，quite比very还不正式] important in today’s job hunting, so this can help them find a better job. Secondly, some people do not like get stuck in a place for a lifelong time, and changing jobs enables them to live in any place they like. Thirdly, but not lastly, working with different types of job provides them good opportunities to meet people from a wide range of fields, which can improve their communicative ability.
In conclusion, both sides of the issue are well supported by sound reasons. What we should do is to choose job on the base of our preference and personal circumstance.
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