终于写了一次完整的写作，大家帮忙批批吧

走过彩虹桥 · 发表于 2011-12-31 19:50:54

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任何错误都请大家帮忙指出来，大小写，标点符号（我对这个一窍不通），多谢！

task 1.

you have recently moved to a different house. write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter: explain why you have moved; describe the new house, invite your friend to come and visit.

感觉这个题目还是比较好些一些，场景比较熟悉，花了19分钟写完了。

Dear XXX,

I am glad to notice you that we have moved to a new house which is located at No. 15 Yongding Road, Haidian Disctrict.

This house is very near to my wife's new working location. It is just 10 minutes' walk from her working place, and it is not very far from my working place.

This house has 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms and 2 garages. So we can share it with our friends when they visit. Not far from the house is the bus station and a shopping mall, so it is very convenient for transportation and shopping.

I am looking forward to your visit at our new house as it is really a long time from our last meet. And i have prepared a lot of funny things to share with you.

Kindly Yours

XXX

我写字太大了，本以为已经差不多了，结果一数字数只有100多一点。

请教一下大家考官评作文标点符号算字数吗？我比较担心自己的作文字数不够。

task2：

根据前面的经验，我大作文的字数应该还是不够，郁闷！不过还是请大家帮忙评评看吧，多谢！

Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveler?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

先说审题吧，开始想成是旅游了，然后准备了几条原因还有好处，结果动笔时发现貌似审题有问题，又改变方向，结果花了1个多小时。

It is not uncommon these days that people are travelling one third, or half, or even three fourth of a year. Certainly they do more travelling than their parents did. There are definitely some reasons lie in it, and people can get a lot from these travels.

There are mainly two purposes for people travelling: business and leisure. With the globalization process, more and more firms are setting up branches at different locations to better serve local customers. For these businesses, constant and routine business trips between headquarters and branches are definitely essential to better cooperation. The other main driving force for travelling is tourism. With the development of economy, people are getting more and more money to spend, which has boosted national and international tourism. As a example, people around me tend to choose an international travel for their honeymoon activities.

Aside from economic growth that various kinds of travelling can bring, people who travel can also benefit from their trips. Firstly, one can broaden his horizon and enrich his life from travelling around, thus life can be a more fun process. Another apparent benefit of travelling is it can promote mutual understanding of people from different sites, so things always can be done efficiently through one's travel. (本来想写第三个好处充实一下内容，结果想不起来了：)

In sum up, it is the globalization and economic growth that have promoted travelling, and people can benefit from travelling, too.

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0pe6l418 · 发表于 2011-12-31 22:45:44

菜鸟粗粗看了下
觉得你part2 正文一写了 business
正文二里面写benefits的时候就应该紧扣这个，理由可以充分电

走过彩虹桥 · 发表于 2011-12-31 23:06:39

嗯，相应地长度应该也能增加一点

eprfn795245 · 发表于 2012-1-1 01:12:51

我也写了一个，和楼主一样，第一次写完整的，20分钟内完成，搭车请大牛们指点，谢谢

Dear Thomas
Time flys, it was two years since we last met in Beijing ,how are things going with you?

I moved to a new house which is close to my parents severial weeks before, as you know my parents like to live in quiet place therefore they select a house in a contryside place and the public transportation is a big problem becasue they can not drive by themselves.

After discussing with my wife for a few days, we decide to buy a new house close to my parents sothat we can take care and help them to solve traffic issues.

The new house looks very nice and my wife and i like it very much, it's about 300 square meters with two private gradens, what's more there's a big park with lake which's close to my house, we can go to the park for relax by walk with my parents in weekend.

I will take you to my new house next time when you come to Beijing again, look forward to seeing you soon.

Yours

Peter

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he44o7pqq · 发表于 2012-1-1 09:18:10

45分钟写出来的，后来才把BENEFIT补上，估计不及格了

Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveler?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Recently, increasingly people like to tralvel than ever before, it is mostly because of economic development and globlization. The essay will give answers.

Firstly, individual's income increased with the develpment of the economic therefore they have much money which can be allocated to what they want for example travelling to other countries they have never been to for a sight seeing and so on. It was reported by the Chinese Entry-Exit Bureau in 2011, more than five million people went abroad with travelling visa which is about doubel of the number in 2010. People will benefit from oversea travelling a lot.They can realx themselves and improve their knowledge about cultures in diffrent countries.

Secondly,There are more and more business travelling because of globlization,data from thebiggest local travelling agency, Ctrip, shows the amout of sold airtickets was increased 20 percent each in the past 5 years as well as hotel reservation. From my personal experience, I am working in a local representative office which has a headquarter in the United Kindom. I have to travel to London at least three times per year to have meetings with colleagues in head office. I enjoy my tralling very much bucase i can learn a lot from the trip,for example, i can talk with the passengers in the airplane to improve my English and i can make friends with people from different area.

In conclusion, economic development and globlization lead increasingly travelling meanwhile individal can be benefit from it.

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[雅思杂谈] 终于写了一次完整的写作，大家帮忙批批吧

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