作文批批批！！！！！我又来了。

爱后余味 · 发表于 2012-2-24 07:51:54

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4 It is suggested that all mothers and fathers should be required to take childcare training courses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, an increasing number of parents are encouraged to participate in childcare training courses as there is a general consensus that this kind of courses can promote children’s physical and emotional development. But should all mothers and fathers be required take those courses? In my point view, it should vary from case to case.

It is self-evident that taking part in children training courses is beneficial for families. Usually, those training courses involve knowledge and skills about childcare so that parents can provide the best care for their children. For example, there are courses about how to cook a nutritious and delicious meal for children and how to teach children to develop a good eating habit in an early age. Moreover, it offers insights on children’s psychological soundness. Taking childcare courses on this subject will help parents identify potential psychological problems and what to do about it.

Though childcare training courses have done so much good for individuals and society, it is impossible for all mothers and fathers to join the training. Firstly, due to the fierce competition and mounting pressure comes from workplace parents may not have enough time to attend training courses. Secondly, the costs of these courses are usually very high so that not all families can afford it. In order to cover the expenses, parents have to work very hard or curtail budget. It may cause financial burden for the family. Thirdly, there are places where people cannot easily access to childcare training courses such as some rural areas. To attend the courses, people have to drive several hours to the downtown. It not only wastes time and money but may also cause traffic problems.

From what has been discussed above, we may finally draw the conclusion that childcare training courses should not be compulsory for parents. However, parents should take part in the training as much as possible. In any case, it is good for children’s growth.

本来2月份的考试要推到4月份了。]

修水人 · 发表于 2012-2-24 17:12:47

哇，非常漂亮的文章，感觉7分以上一点问题没有

bh5y9ptod · 发表于 2012-2-25 00:53:10

实事求是的说，LZ的文章我感觉在6分上下。句子虽然都对，但是地道性差一点。我可能没资格评论，我只考了一次，是6.5。但是自我感觉文章比LZ的稍微好一点……现在要拿七是很难的。建议楼主多看看考官的范文。不要灰心，一起共勉！

黄丫丫 · 发表于 2012-2-25 06:23:56

只从英语本身来看，有些基本词组的理解还是有误，刺眼的语法错误依然存在。
内容的组织没有细看，各花入各眼了。

运气好可以有6。

金刚1985 · 发表于 2012-2-25 09:06:39

第一段最后一句我觉得用被动时态更合适一些。第二段里围绕children说，第三段是childcare，但是么，怎么说，我觉得，作为一种讨论问题的文章，主题词摆出来的次数太多了。哪怕你用相近的意思而不直接用，因为这样感觉更加有深度，而不是在凑字数。长句子建议用有把握的，因为长句也是各种含义和逻辑的组合，有时感觉楼主其实接近成功的探讨到问题点上了，但是一个不自信又拐回到最表面，这样逻辑不清晰，用长句反而不利。

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袖舞宁心 · 发表于 2012-2-25 10:53:15

刚开始复习，目标四个六，写了一篇现丑，感觉比他这个还差啊，大家给批批
Nowdays many young parents think it's diffcult to take care of their little babys since most of them are lack of experience. Thish is why childcare training course become more and more popular today. In my opinion I think taking childare training is usefull but it should not be a must.
It's obviously that childcare training course would help young parents to obtain vairous knowledges needed by taking care a baby. Such as how to feed little baby, how to cook the food with required nutrition, how to choose clothes and so on. Most courses are held by professional experts in this subject and young parents can gain very usefull skills which could help them reduce mistakes and ensure they are on the right track.
The courses are very usefull, but why I said it shoud not a must? Since I think obtaining the knowledges of breeding baby is a must task for young parents but taking the causes isn't. Taking the courses is just one of the methods the young parents can used to get the knowledges. There are may other approaches available such as reading relevant books, searching on internet, or getting help from ther older friends or their parents. Such methods can also help young parents to know how to raise the child and sometime it's much more convinient and with lower cost.
So I think young parents should understand their real purpose is to obtain the knowledge. Taking childcare training course would be a good choice if with enougth time and budget, but there are still many other ways the young parents can choose.

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jose_feliciano · 发表于 2012-2-25 18:10:32

作文为什么不说自己鲜明的观点，一定要正反都说么？还有，一定要说一些复杂的词汇么？

[雅思杂谈] 作文批批批！！！！！我又来了。

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