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[雅思杂谈] 3.21作文练习

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楼主
发表于 2012-3-21 20:34:42 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式 来自: INNA

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题目是旅游越来越盛行,为什么会这样,旅游给人们带来的好处



Recent decades have witnessed a sweeping trend that traveling become more popular as a fashion leisure taken place of traditional ones, such as watching TV and play cards, etc. There are many reasons which stimulate acceptance of traveling to ordinary people. To begin with, convenience of transportation has been improved in great amount recently, such as, air freight, private cars, etc. With more highways constructed and more airlines and airports opened, fewer corners will not be covered at contemporary transport system. Almost within one day, we can arrive at our targets through combination of airplane, high-speed railway, and highway bus, whatever how far it is. In additional, the cost of transport has been low down to affordable to ordinary people. These have been greatly incentive the boost of tourism industry. Compatible with advertise campaign and finance support based on credit and loan, more people have capability to achieve their goals to touch scenes and views that only imagined before.



This is widely acknowledged that traveling can broaden people’s outlook and emotionally relieve stress from current quick rhythm lives. Suffering with heavy burdens, such as overtime work, intensive competition of business, people often feel exhausted under working situation. That will be wholesome for health, if they can transit focus to different things temporally, such as climbing hills, explorer forest, observe animals or experience other people’s live and culture, those are all activities include in current traveling services. Free minds and relax bodies can enhance people revive energy while reentering their work. From another side, observation at lives of other place with different culture and lifestyle can help people to think deeply about meaning of their current circumstance, so that they can absorb good points and get balance psychologically.



To conclude, traveling is really benefit with people’s lives, which is a symbol of human oriented concentration at our uplift society. With that, we can experience diversity of culture and beauty of nature, that can enormously abundant our knowledge and awake positive thinking at philosophy of human lives.



要抓紧练习了。



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沙发
发表于 2012-3-22 04:12:19 | 只看该作者 来自: INNA


还是感觉是GOOGLE翻译的。。。难字很多,这个不错,但是我读不懂句子,我怀疑我了。。


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板凳
发表于 2012-3-22 06:59:28 | 只看该作者 来自: INNA


以下改写作为第一段和第二段。本人初学,共同学习下。

Recent decades have witnessed a sweeping trend that traveling become more popular as a fashion leisure taken place of traditional ones, such as watching TV and play cards, etc.

#Recent decades, travelling tend to be the most popular way of leisure,  taking over gradually the place of the conventional way such as watching Tv, playing cards.

There are many reasons which stimulate acceptance of traveling to ordinary people.

#There are many reasons to explain why it happens.

To begin with, convenience of transportation has been improved in great amount recently, such as, air freight, private cars, etc.

#Firstly, modern transportion has been improved largly in recent years and the cost of travelling has reduced constantly.

With more highways constructed and more airlines and airports opened, fewer corners will not be covered at contemporary transport system.

# By this advanced transport tools, such as flight and train, we can get to wherever we want to go.

Almost within one day, we can arrive at our targets through combination of airplane, high-speed railway, and highway bus, whatever how far it is.

#Desipte how far it is, we can arrive there even within one day by means of airplanes or express trains.

In additional, the cost of transport has been low down to affordable to ordinary people.

#In addition, the cheap tickets of planes or trains enables us normal person  to afford the travelling cost.

These have been greatly incentive the boost of tourism industry. Compatible with advertise campaign and finance support based on credit and loan, more people have capability to achieve their goals to touch scenes and views that only imagined before.

#what is more, the developed tourism provides us numerous choices of tour destination and comfortable services as well. We can really enjoy our trips and release our work pressure.


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地板
 楼主| 发表于 2012-3-22 17:59:49 | 只看该作者 来自: INNA


不好意思,兄台你的句子里口语化偏重。
最典型的如下:
# By this advanced transport tools, such as flight and train, we can get to wherever we want to go.
应该要注意句式结构,平白的句子难得高分。


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5#
发表于 2012-3-22 21:08:45 | 只看该作者 来自: INNA


确实,写的平白简单,我刚从模板方法走过来,在练习中。呵呵,还是用不好比较好的句式。我想先把话说出来,然后再慢慢把话说的文学点。这个过程还在琢磨中,唉。。


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