公告:为给大家更好的使用体验,同城网今日将系统升级,页面可能会出现不稳定状态,由此给您带来的不便,敬请谅解!
升级时间:2016-7-24 11:00 -- 2016-7-24 15:00

澳洲同城网

查看: 6158|回复: 7
打印 上一主题 下一主题

[雅思杂谈] 批作文20120323

[复制链接]

134

主题

3

金豆

23

积分

Lv1

Rank: 1

性别
保密
积分
23
金豆
3
鲜花
0
主题
134
帖子
230
注册时间
2015-4-6
跳转到指定楼层
楼主
发表于 2012-3-24 16:29:56 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式 来自: INNA

马上注册,结交更多同城好友,享用更多功能!

您需要 登录 才可以下载或查看,没有帐号?立即注册

x


Write about the following topic:

Nowadays many students have the opportunity to study for part or all of their courses in foreign countries.

While studying abroad brings many benefits to individual students, it also has a number of disadvantages.

Do you agree or disagree?





根据昨天yrqin大侠指出的几个点刻意注意了下,不过带来的一些问题是句子没有刻意去做一些美化,因为一场考试里时间有限,我完全模拟考试时间来写,时间就怕不够。看来练得太少,多练估计能写得快点。





It has been a trend for many years that more and more students are pursuing education opportunities overseas, especially in those developed countries where education systems are more sophisticated. Despite the benefits of studying abroad, there are also many drawbacks for these students to study out of their home country.



Firstly, studying aboard imposes high financial pressure to the families of the students. As these youngsters are not financially independent in most cases, their families are the only resource they can use to support their education. Therefore, it would be very likely that their parents would lower their own standard of living just in order to provide better support to their children.



Secondly, without the help of parents, the students need to spend more time, which could be very precious to study, to take care of themselves. Hence, these students studying overseas would have less time for their study, which is considered as their major task, than their counterparts in home country.



Last but not least, the students away from their home country tend to be exposed to high risk of mental illness. One reason for this is most of them would be too young to face the challenges like adults. Another possible factor might be that they do not have many suitable channels to release their psychological pressure because they are not living with their families.



In conclusion, there are a lot of disadvantages if seeking for diplomas overseas because the students would be facing financial issues as well as psychological conditions which they might not have chance to encounter if they choose to learn in their own home country.



[]



免责声明
澳洲同城网是一个免费的公共信息平台,网站内容由网友自由发布,发布者拥有所发布信息的版权同时承担相应责任; 若所发布信息侵犯了您的权利,请反馈给澳洲同城网,我们核实后将进行相应处理!
官方微信公众号
澳洲同城网官方公众号
微信上也能找工作,找房子?关注万能的同城网官方公众号 localsyd,找到你找不到!
回复

使用道具 举报

142

主题

9

金豆

24

积分

Lv1

Rank: 1

性别
保密
积分
24
金豆
9
鲜花
0
主题
142
帖子
244
注册时间
2014-9-25
沙发
发表于 2012-3-24 19:07:45 | 只看该作者 来自: INNA


请问口语怎么提高的啊


回复 支持 反对

使用道具 举报

134

主题

3

金豆

23

积分

Lv1

Rank: 1

性别
保密
积分
23
金豆
3
鲜花
0
主题
134
帖子
230
注册时间
2015-4-6
板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2012-3-25 02:04:10 | 只看该作者 来自: INNA




我在下面的贴子里简单说了几点我的体会,下个周末后我考完试后会单独开贴详细地说
http://www.localau.com/viewt ... id=96239#pid4088057


回复 支持 反对

使用道具 举报

134

主题

3

金豆

23

积分

Lv1

Rank: 1

性别
保密
积分
23
金豆
3
鲜花
0
主题
134
帖子
230
注册时间
2015-4-6
地板
 楼主| 发表于 2012-3-25 13:33:33 | 只看该作者 来自: INNA


求达人批作文~~~


回复 支持 反对

使用道具 举报

156

主题

7

金豆

24

积分

Lv1

Rank: 1

性别
保密
积分
24
金豆
7
鲜花
0
主题
156
帖子
237
注册时间
2014-11-29
5#
发表于 2012-3-25 14:25:02 | 只看该作者 来自: INNA


Secondly, without the help of parents, the students need to spend more time, which could be very precious to study, to take care of themselves. "to"应该是ON吧


回复 支持 反对

使用道具 举报

134

主题

3

金豆

23

积分

Lv1

Rank: 1

性别
保密
积分
23
金豆
3
鲜花
0
主题
134
帖子
230
注册时间
2015-4-6
6#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-3-26 01:04:06 | 只看该作者 来自: INNA




谢谢
我查了一下,似乎用 spend more time taking care of 比较正确


回复 支持 反对

使用道具 举报

162

主题

10

金豆

26

积分

Lv1

Rank: 1

性别
保密
积分
26
金豆
10
鲜花
0
主题
162
帖子
259
注册时间
2014-9-3
7#
发表于 2012-3-26 08:22:41 | 只看该作者 来自: INNA


说实话,感觉作文还不错的说!


回复 支持 反对

使用道具 举报

135

主题

4

金豆

21

积分

Lv1

Rank: 1

性别
保密
积分
21
金豆
4
鲜花
0
主题
135
帖子
213
注册时间
2014-11-28
8#
发表于 2012-3-26 10:11:15 | 只看该作者 来自: INNA


给两点个人看法和结合你的作文,其实我作文水平和你相等班门弄斧了。
1. 句式复杂能得分,用一些倒装或者虚拟
without the help of parents, the students need to spend more time,这句应该可以换成虚拟句should +v

2. 小词:连接词、副词、形容词。这点你做的很好的了,我只是锦上添花
你的口语那么好,装饰词应该不少吧。在作文里一样
more and more = increasing之流

如果lz有空短我一下怎么提高口语,topic准备了不少,请外教也辅导过几次。是不是要自说自话的经常念和读,还是以topic为主呢?我感觉应该两者兼备吧
谢谢!


回复 支持 反对

使用道具 举报

您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 立即注册

本版积分规则




外汇平台
金牌家政
汽车网



















wuliu
你想了解我们吗?
联系我们
关注我们
官方微博 官方Facebook 官方Twitter
微信关注
官方微信公众号 官方微信服务号
官方公众号 客服微信
快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表