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[雅思杂谈] 准备考雅思,从来没经历过,写个writing的task 1,求指点

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楼主
发表于 2011-9-12 17:18:11 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式 来自: INNA

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这里大虾灰常灰常多,小弟几经辗转才找到这样一个好地方,经过一个月的潜水,肺活量有限,出来冒个泡。



大致说明下情况,本人30岁,今年8月初突然心血来潮想移民,个中原因一言难尽,也就不再赘述。

我同事,跟我情况差不多的,已经成功移民澳大利亚,去年就过去长登了。想想自己也不比别人差,虽然受今年移民新政的影响,不过只要自己多多努力,机会总还是有di。

复习到现在有一个月时间了,从对雅思完成陌生,到现在有个一知半解,不能说是有啥成就,只求有所进步。

听力和阅读都可以通过不断的做题来提升,而且有现成的答案,所以要了解自己的情况,也相对简单直接很多。

写作和口语则不同。前几天买了一本关于写作的书,看了下,写一篇task1,请各位大侠不吝指教。



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Writing task 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

You have recently moved to a different house.

Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In you letter

Explain why you have moved

Describe the new house

Invite your friend to come and visit



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





Dear John,

        I am writing to inform you that i have just moved to another house in the rural area, which is always what i have been dreaming of.

        As you may wonder, why would i make such a decision so abruptly, now here is the deal. First, the previous house is a little bit too far from my office. It inevitably took me 2 hours to get to work and another 2 hours to get home, which was simply more than i could bear. Secondly, the downtown area where i used to live in is much too noisy and crowded for someone, who prefer to spend more time quietly alone, like me. I could sacrifice the convenient communal service and the privilege of being a city dweller for an agreeable and peaceful place to live. And what's more, i just could not put up with the dog next door, which is always barking at everything as if the whole world is suspicious enough to keep him alert.

        Now that i have moved to brand new house, all that had afflicted me are gone. I am closer to my office, and i only have to spend half as much time as i used to on my journey. In spite of some inconvenience and unfamiliarity, i find my new house as perfect as can be. Instead of any barking dog, all i hear now is the twittering of bird at dawn and the symphony performed by lovely frogs at night. What is more exciting, i finally possess a garden of my own. It's spacious and pastorally beautiful. From now on, i could have parties whenever i want to, without worrying about influencing my neighbours around.

        As my best friend as well as my first invited guest, you are always welcome to drop by. And with 2 large extra guest rooms available, you can stay as long as you wish. Call me before you come in case i might be away sometimes.

        I look forward to your reply as well as your visit soon.



                                                                                                                           Yours, sincerely

                                                                                                                                    Forrest  





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Writing task 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Today more people are travelling than ever before.

Why is this the case?

What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Nowadays, with the highly developed transportation vehicle and the great need to visiting various parts of the world, people are travelling far more frequently than ever before. In some industries, travel frequency is, to some extent, a new criterion to measure the success of an individual. The more you travel, the more likely one is to succeed. As there are so many variety of transportation vehicles to choose from, travelling around the world ceases to be an abstract concept and is, if financially allowed, always available for everyone. Why is this the case, one might wonder. Some analyses are given below for people to judge by themselves.

First above all, with the economy developing worldwide, more people are required to travel from one place to another to achieve their financial goals. There are much more international enterprises, which have branches and business developed all over the world, than ever before. They keep sending administrative and technical workers overseas to seize the booming opportunities. Secondly, with the improvement of personal financial situation and the tremendous development of tourism market, people can afford to travel to more places more frequently. Last but not least, the transportation development has enable people to choose whatever way they wish to and modern global culture, as a subconscious factor, encourages people to seek pleasure in all kinds of outdoor activities.

On the other hand, people benefit a great deal from their travelling all parts of the world. A large amount of businesses have been established thanks to the introduction of modern science and technology into transportation industry. All customers are available to visit within a short period of time. What's more, people increase their knowledge and experience on their trip from place to place. A great many exciting and interesting stories are told between friends in all occasions. Moreover, the ever growing travel related businesses have been developed and a great number of employment opportunities are created, which is beyond people's imagination a century ago.

In this ever changing world, travel ,which is becoming more and more popular, has play an indispensable role in people's lives. When you are busy at work, you must be travelling on a business trip. When you are free, let's travel!





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自己修改了一次自己的作文,拿出来大家帮忙给看看。





Today, more people are travelling than ever before. The highly developed transportation vehicles make it possible for people to travel from one place to another with great ease. And the increasing need to travel, required by global economical business, encourages people to take advantage of all kinds of modern transportation means. One can not resist the temptation to do their business with so many transportation options in their reach. The idea of travelling around world ceases to be an abstract concept, but becomes more realistic to most of the people who can afford it. Why is this the case, one might wonder. The truth will be revealed as you read on.

With the idea of global economy being accepted by more people and becoming a normal practise, more people are required to achieve their financial goals worldwide. There are increasing opportunities for people who seek to develop oversea market, and vip customers can be arranged for a face-to-face meeting in a short time thanks to modern transportation means. For other people, who would like to work in one place and spend their weekend in another place, there are a large amount of transportation options to choose from that they never have to make do with the second best. Still for some others, who have far too much time, travelling from place to place is always a pleasure and is, as is acknowledged, the best way to kill time.

Not only is travel important to people regarding to their career and leisure requirement, but travel brings a great deal of benefit as well. With their goals of global economy achieved, it generates huge sums of money for both those who is running the business and those who is working for them. Government all around the world, with their travel related industries developed due to the advanced modern transportation, benefit a lot and is still making more effort to develop the transportation industries further. For the ordinary citizens, travel has exerted great influences on their lives, that they are no longer confined to one place and pursueing their pleasure of life by more travelling.

Travel, as important as any other parts of life, is becoming more and more popular with people. As is said, if you are busy, you must be travelling somewhere; if you are not so busy, let's travel!







~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



请各位大虾看看,这样的水平能得多少分啊,有哪些地方需要改进的,本人完全没有方向。]



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沙发
发表于 2011-9-13 04:19:08 | 只看该作者 来自: INNA


偶水平忒低,就不妄加评判了
有一点最基本的问题,字数太多,这样不仅浪费自己时间,而且影响考官心情


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板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2011-9-13 07:28:28 | 只看该作者 来自: INNA


谢谢各位大侠的指导。
向爱因斯坦学习,他做了3个小凳子,我写了第3遍文章。如果需要,我还会写第4,第5遍。你们的指导是不可缺少的。先行谢过。

Writing task 2
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Today more people are travelling than ever before.
Why is this the case?
What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Human society can not do without travel. In modern society more and more people choose to travel, for they have found it both rewarding and comfortable. Travel have brought about tremendous changes to everyone, and it is, without doubt, one of the most popular topics of conversation. But how come? To understand all these, we must figure out the reason and the motivation behind.
The major reason why more people travel is related to money. Such is human nature that people will venture into lucrative programs of all kinds, especially for those who esteem money as their first priority. With the giant pace of globalization, international businesses have been established all around the world. Thanks to this, travel industry gains prosperity and popularity as an essential link of globalization. Due to its close connection with modern business mode in some industries, travel frequency even become a yardstick against which success is measured. Furthermore, travel is a major entertainment for most people as well. Tired of stuck in one place and repeating the monotonous routine of everyday life, people find it hard to resist the temptation to spend their vacations in various place to court for relaxation and excitement. This helps, as agreed with many, to rekindle our waning passion in life.
From travel people benefit in more ways than one. Huge sums of money are obtained with international businesses developing smoothly. More employment opportunities are available in travel related industries. As travel has ensured a safe and comfortable journey in much shorter time than ever before, dreams and ambitions are being realized beyond geographical limitation. To some extent, travel has made the world smaller and every place nearer, which brings in a great deal of convenience to human being. In the process, people gain more various interesting and exciting experiences.
To sum up, travel has become an indispensable part of human society. With it, the vast and boundless world people used to know has become a global village. As science and technology progresses, travel between planet will hopefully cease to be a daydream.


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最后,问一点外行的问题。
大家都推荐times, ecomonics等等,请问新概念英语的三或者四怎么样呢?
此外,单纯为了提高雅思的作文分数,是不是以模板为基础,加入自己的创新的句型和套路会更加行之有效呢?
我知道,学习英语是一个漫长的过程,中间不能乱动歪脑筋。但仅仅针对考试,本来就是一个很快餐性质的东西,是否有其他的方法可以考虑呢?


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地板
发表于 2011-9-13 14:25:07 | 只看该作者 来自: INNA


看着还不错了!


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