12天冲刺雅思，作文集中帖

走江湖看我 · 发表于 2011-10-24 18:58:25

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雅思写作，对于很多同学来说，难度和不可控度会远大于阅读和听力，毕竟没有一个标准答案来精确恒定最终得分。

不过，借助写作评分的标准，我们可以大概看见自己的完成情况以及可能的得分。

故，专门开一个帖子，把自己每天练习的文章帖上来，欢迎大家指正和点评。

先把作文的task1和task2的标准再帖一次出来，这样大家在看的时候也有一个基准可以参考。

对于一个9分的作文，task1：

☆Task Achievement:

1.fully satisfies all the requirements of the task;

2.clearly presents a fully developed response

☆Coherence and Cohesion:

1.uses cohesion in such a way that it attracts no attention

2.skilfully manages paragraphing

☆Lexical Resource

1.uses a wide range of vocabulary with very natural and sophisticated control of lexical features; rare minor errors occur only as "slips"

☆Grammatical Range and Accuracy

1.uses a wide range of structures with full flexibility and accuracy; rare minor errors occur only as "slips"

对于一个9分task2：

☆Task Response

1.fully addresses all parts of the task

2.presents a fully developed position in answer to the question with relevant, fully extended and well supported ideas

☆Coherence and Cohesion

1.uses cohesion in such a way that it attracts no attention

2.skilfully manages paragraphing

☆Lexical Resource

1.uses a wide range of vocabulary with very natural and sophisticated control of lexical features; rare minor errors occur only as "slips"

☆Grammatical Range and Accuracy

1.uses a wide range of structures with full flexibility and accuracy; rare minor errors occur only as "slips"

下面占了12层楼，每层楼供一篇文章的联系。每天，我会贴一篇自己的作文，然后请大家多多指点和围观。

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走江湖看我 · 发表于 2011-10-25 00:32:07

第一个作业，选自剑桥3，g类作文，test1.

WRITING TASK 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
You are due to start a new job next week but you will not be able to because you have some problems.
Write a letter to your new employer. In your letter
Explain your situation
Describe your problems
Tell him/her when you think you can start.

You should write at least 150 words.
You do NOT need to write your own address.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear …………,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Mr. White,
I'm writing to let you know that i will not be able to start my job next week as i promised.
As i mentioned during the interview that my son, who is tow years old, was in a poor health condition. Just yesterday i was informed by the hospital that he would need to be transferred to another more advanced hospital in another city to have an urgent operation, otherwise some problems might remain for a long time due to the acute deterioration, as a result of which i will have to spend next two weeks with him. I'm so sorry for the inconvenience, and hopefully you will understand.
Having said that i very much like to work in your company, and i esteem it as an honour for your acceptance of me. So i would like to know if it's possible that i postpone my job for two weeks.
Sorry again for the inconvenience, and i hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely your,
Forrest

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WRITING TASK 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
You have been asked to write about the following topic.

Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time.
Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

You should write at least 250 words.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Childhood is important for everyone, for it has greatly subtle influence on a child's future. Therefore, how to constructively spend one's pastime when he is young can not be neglected.
Educational activities indeed contribute a lot to one's schooling in more ways than one. One can enrich his knowledge through both intensive and extensive reading. Access to knowledge in all subjects can turn out beneficial for his courses and his hobbies. The more one learns , the more one is likely to achieve higher as opposed to others who waste their time fooling around. It is also worth mentioning that a reasonable study habit can boost one's schooling and life in the rest of one's life. A regular reader, for example, can consistently increase his knowledge, which will definitely enable one to go further and enjoy more in his career.
However, is this the only advantageous activity for a child? Absolutely not. Other pastime can prove to be useful as well. Sports, one of children's favourite, can benefit children both physically and mentally. When playing football, apart from the physical exercises, one can also learn to effectively cooperate with one's teammates, and thus further develop the sense of teamwork. Social activities of all kind, another positive pastime, can help one learn to cope with interpersonal relationship. A birthday party of some friend brings the friendship closer. And the process of preparing the party can offer the best opportunity to improve one's practical capability.
In summary, leisure activities in one's childhood should not be confined to those which have bearing on study. Instead, one is well advised to participate in more options as long as they are positive and beneficial. A colorful and significant childhood is certainly what a child deserves and what parents expect as well.

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说明一下，写作的时候是用铅笔写在本子上面的，用了55分钟，没有来得及检查。
后来再转到word文档，然后贴上来的，中间发现一部分拼写错误，通过word已经修改过来了，也不多，不超过5个。至于其他的用词，为了保证模拟的真实性就没有修改。
请大家一起来写，或者给点意见，什么地方需要改进的，不管是用词还是构思，还是任何方面，请高人乱入。
记住一点，我们在向8分看齐~~~~~~~

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走江湖看我 · 发表于 2011-10-25 01:55:04

WRITING TASK 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

You are unhappy about a plan to make your local airport bigger and increase the number of flights. You live near the airport.

Write a letter to your local newspaper. In your letter
Explain where you live
Describe the problem
Give reasons why you do not want this development

You should write at least 150 words.
You do NOT need to write your own address.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear Sir/Madam,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am greatly shocked to learn that the size of the local airport is about to increase remarkably and there will be numerous additional flights. And I strongly oppose to the plan.
As my apartment is merely five miles away from the airport, I have just had enough of the noise from it. Even with the double glazed glass, it is still impossible for me to have a sound nap in the afternoon. What's worse, I am about to lose my job, for the deafening noise easily ruins my piano classes.
And I want to express my objection to this plan. For one thing, the current airport is fairly enough for this medium-sized city, and any further expansion or increase of flight number will be nothing but a waste of money. For another, the local authority has been unable to find an effective solution to alleviate the negative impact caused by the airport so far, and therefore any development will only make things worse.
I would appreciate it if you can convey our thoughts to local authority and bring a closure to this insensible plan.

Sincerely yours,
Forrest

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WRITING TASK 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

You have been asked to write about the following topic.

It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they used to be.
Five some reasons why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought closer together.
Include any relevant examples from your experience.

You should write at least 250 words.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It is sad to notice that family members are drifting apart from one another. Apparently, there are several significant factors that we must notice.
The most compelling one for this is that families share far less than ever before. In the past when pressure due to competition was not so great, parents and children could always have opportunities to have meals and do a wide variety of outdoors together; whereas now parents are forever engaged with work and children are working themselves to death with endless homework, so the sweet lunch time and fascinating hiking experience are nothing but golden memories.
What's more, the abundant selection of entertainment forms coupled with people's egoism has a lot to answer for. Compared with the past, people can have so much more options of recreation that their lives become more and more colourful and comfortable. For example, when daddy suggest playing golf while children would rather stay home playing video games, and none would like to compromise. And then the gap forms and eventually get wider and wider.
In fact, we can make things better if only we can follow these simple steps. Firstly, think about what you can do to piece things up together and carry out your plan right away. As long as you can share, anything will be helpful. Secondly, seize every opportunity to spend more quality time with your family members. Either an informal chat in the evening or eating out together will definitely mend the breach of the relationship. Lastly, imagine what your life will be without your families whenever you fall back to the old bad way. In case you are a loner, otherwise you will definitely figure out the right choice.

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第二篇作文练习，中间出现了很多问题。
第一、由于题材不熟悉，思考时间过长，简单的说，脑子不够用。
第二、对于不熟悉的题材，潜意识的想去说明清楚，造成了很多冗余，做完了发现小作文写了快300字，大作文写了快400字。崩溃了。
第三、时间的把握，今天如果是正式考试，肯定死的很惨，因为超时，而且不止一点点。

后来，整理了思路，又反思了作文。去繁存简，小作文还是弄到了190个字，大作文少于300字。
看来路还很长。sigh………………

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走江湖看我 · 发表于 2011-10-25 02:10:09

Your neighbours have recently written to you to complain about the noise from your house/flat.
Write a letter to your neighbours. In your letter
1. Explain the reasons for the noise
2. Apologize
3. Describe what action you will take

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear John,
I'm shocked to learn in your letter that the noise in my flat has caused you so much inconvenience that you can not even read, let alone taking a nap in the afternoon. I am so sorry. Had I known it, I would never have done so.
As you may know that I gathered some really talented guys and we founded a rock band. With the music festival coming up, we had to rehearse more often. As you see, we have wanted so much to win the match and we are trying really hard, so sometimes it could be a bit too loud and annoying.
Having noticed our negligence, I have just found another place to rehearse in the outskirt of the city, and we have already moved all our equipments and instruments there. So I promise, you will never be harassed by the noise and will surely enjoy your reading and napping.
Sorry again for the inconvenience and hopefully you will understand.

Regrettably yours,
Forrest

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work.
How do you think children should spend their free time?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We all wish a splendid future for our children. Therefore, we would like to push our children to work hard at school and hope that they don't waste any time. However, there are many ways leading to success, and how to make the right choices depends on specific conditions.
For those who want to ensure their glorious future through academic achievement, more focus on school work is definitely the best way. For the more you learn, the more likely you are to get access to the best education, the easier you are to find a promising job with decent pay, the better your life will be in the future. Though it takes a lot of time and fortitude to persist in one's school work, the ample reward will justify all the hard work.
However, for some others who would like to reach success in other ways than academic commitment, it is a totally different story. Sports stars, for example, win their fame and fortune by arduous training, and school work never appeals to them. And in their spare time, they are well advised to apply themselves to consistent, systematic training. What's more, it is better for everyone to balance their pursuit with their lives, as we are not robots but human beings who need internal rests.
Therefore, i think children should make sensible plans for their free time management. First above all, they must figure out what they want their lives to be, and then make plans to fulfill their ambitions. Additionally, everyone is well advised to have regular time for sports, for health is the fundamental factor in happiness. And last but not least, everyone should learn to gain balance in their lives and pursuits. Hard work without relaxation will soon exhaust children and make their goal unattainable.

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这次作文练习是我最不满意的，一开始太精炼了，字数都不达标。然后，修改后发现task2的观点无法论述清楚。前前后后改了3-4次，直到睡觉前还没有想明白。梦里又改了几遍，终于早上醒来的时候想清楚了要怎么下笔，于是耽误了一天。
如果是考试遇到这种情况，就完蛋了，怕怕！

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走江湖看我 · 发表于 2011-10-25 09:47:20

You have a full-time job and are also doing a part-time evening course.
You now find that you cannot continue the course.

Write a letter to the course tutor. In your letter
describe the situation
Explain why you cannot continue at this time
Say what action you would like to take

Dear Mr. White,
I am sorry to let you know that I will be unable to continue your course for one month.
As you know, I am working as a Sales Representative in an international company whose headquarter is in America. Thanks to your course, I was promoted as Sales Manager and was offer an opportunity to receive an oversea training program in the headquarter. I would like to seize this once-in-a-life-time opportunity which leads to better career prospect. This program will last for a month, making me unable to attend your course during this time.
I would like you to know that I have been thinking highly of your course, and would not want to miss a single part of it. So I would like to know if I can resume the course one month later.
Sorry again for my absence and I am looking forward to your reply.

Sincerely yours,
Forrest

Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish.
Why do you think this is happening?
What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced?

An increasing amount of rubbish has been produced as the development of society proceeds. We have been fighting battles against the rubbish which takes up our space and pollutes our environment. Unfortunately, we haven't work out any effective solution to reduce the increasing rubbish produced everyday.
One of the most compelling reason why more and more rubbish is produced is ascribed to the overuse of packaging required by all our mass produced goods. Compared with the past, the social productivity has reached an unprecedentedly highly level, directly resulting in tremendous amount of rubbish. Each product nicely packaged is sold to customers who take them home in plastic bags of all sizes. So the higher our civilization is, the more rubbish is generated.
However, I also attribute it to people's lack of sense of environmental protection. They only care whether their daily requirement will be met or not, totally disregarding other issues which are both important and urgent, such as disposal of rubbish. And it's especially true in the developing countries where the overall quality of citizens is relatively low.
To effectively keep the situation under control, governments are well advised to follow these steps. First of all, they should carry out laws and regulations to lower the amount of rubbish produced everywhere. Armed with the weapon of laws, they can bring about positive changes first in some big supermarkets where rubbish is constantly produced, ant then in every community which also has a lot to answer for. Secondly, they should encourage everyone to participate in the battle against the rubbish, punishing anyone who ignores the social issue which concerns the welfare of everyone. Last but not least, they should create a nice ambiance which enables people to respect our living environment. Only by doing so can we see everyone united together defending our neighbourhood against the invasion of rubbish.

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走江湖看我 · 发表于 2011-10-25 16:24:39

You have recently started work in a new company.

Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter
Explain why you changed jobs
Describe your new job
Tell him/her your other news

Dear James,
It's been long since last time we met, and I'm writing to tell you that I have just changed my job.
As you know, the previous company where I worked as a Salesman was terrible. Not only was the job time demanding, as I did overtime a lot, but the job was barely enough to make ends meet. So i quitted.
Now I have just found a job in an international company which is challenging but rewarding. What's more, they hired me as the Sales Manager, meaning that I am in charge of the whole sales department. And of course, my salary almost doubles, enabling me to have some saving apart from supporting my family. What more can you ask for from a job?
I would also like to tell you that I am about to buy a new apartment near my new company, thus I can be saved shuttling from home to work for hours everyday. I am so happy to share this to you.
Eager to hear from you soon.

Best wishes,
Forrest

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment.
Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

There is never a satisfactory answer whether a house is better than an apartment, or otherwise. So it is hard to decide which one is the better place to live, as people's preferences vary.
A house, which features numerous and spacious rooms, appeals to a great number of people. Compared with an apartment, a house can offer greater variety of functions. It is hard to resist the temptation to live in a house which has several bedrooms offering accommodation to a large family. What's more, a fancy garden where flowers of all kinds prosper has the fascination for people who like to get close to nature. Equipped with a swimming pool, a house is simply a paradise for party lovers.
However, nor is a house without its flaws, if we compare it with an apartment. The sky high maintenance fare will scare away people who is economically embarrassed. And those numerous spacious rooms, though offering comfort, take a lot of time and energy to clean and dust. For people who is less industrious, the unattended garden will soon be covered with weeds. Quite unlike an apartment which is usually conveniently located in downtown area or somewhere not far away, a house owner will have to travel a longer distance to work and to run some errands in town.
Therefore, whether a house's advantages outweigh its disadvantages depends on people's different preferences. For those who are both rich in time and money, a house will definitely offer the better life experience. And for people who are either busy working in downtown area or financially shy, a house is nothing but an white elephant.

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走江湖看我 · 发表于 2011-10-25 18:06:23

1 Students should not be encouraged to participate in sports at school because sports will cause competition rather that co-operation. To what extent you agree or disagree?
Focus:encourage students to participate in sports at school
Comparison: competition vs cooperation
Angle: students

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It is a normal practice for schools to encourage students to take part in sports of all kind, for it is helpful to build up their physique and strengthen their mind. However, a negative voice is heard saying that sports can cause more competition than cooperation, therefore students should not do sports. As far as I am concerned, this opinion can not hold water.
It is true that sports can stimulate fierce competition between students who wish to win, especially in some individual sports. Such sports activities require strength and speed, both of which can only be obtained through long-term systematical training. In order to become stronger and faster, students will go to extremes and will never give up until they beat their counterparts. During the process, the sense of competition push every student to try every possibility, for the championship is the only prize they see.
However, we cannot fail to notice that all champions cannot make their achievement without the assistance of their team behind them. Their coaches offer the best way of training and their teammates keep challenging them to make them stronger and faster. And this is especially true when it comes to the team sports, such as football and basketball. No matter how talented or how distinguished a individual is, he can never break through the defence line set up by a whole team of his rival without the cooperation with his teammates. Anyway, in such sports it is the cooperation of a whole team rather than the performance of a single player that decides who the winner is likely to be.
All in all, sports activities, cultivating students both in sense of competition and cooperation, is definitely a best form of activities to participate in. If they find sometimes that cooperation is what they need most, they can just join a football team or basketball team, thus they will just get what they want.

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走江湖看我 · 发表于 2011-10-25 21:22:18

2 The government should pay the course fees for everyone who wants to study in university. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Focus: pay the course fees in university
Comparison: government vs individual
Angle:none

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Some people insist that the government should take the financial burden for university students by paying the course fees. However, I cannot totally agree with this opinion.
As is known to all, it is not the government's responsibility or obligation to pay the course fees for students, at least not the priority of government which is a public organization responsible for economic growth and public welfares. And government, in most part of the world, doesn't have that much money to pay for all students' cost of study. Even if it has the money, it is wiser for government to invest the money in some other more crucial industries such as agriculture and international business. Only by doing this can a government expect a sustainable social development steadily supported by firm economic base.
On the other hand, it is only fair for students to pay their fees on their own. As is known as a common place, nobody can get something for nothing, and education is no exception. For those who wish to further their study in university, they are well advised to get prepared mentally and financially. As for some other students who cannot afford to go to university, they can invariably turn to government departments or banks for help by applying for loans of all kinds, and they can do certain part time job in their spare time to ease the financial tension.
To sum up, whoever wish to go to university should at first make essential preparation, and pay the course fees on their own. Government, as a public organization set up to serve all citizens, should take effective measures to grant loans to students in need. Thus, burdens on both sides can be alleviated and our society can become more harmonious.

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走江湖看我 · 发表于 2011-10-26 04:38:22

3 There are social, medical and technical problems associated with the use of mobile phones today. What forms do these problems take? Do you agree that the problems outweigh the benefits brought by mobile phones?
Focus: 1.problems; 2.mobile phones;
Comparison:1.mobile phones vs traditional means of telecommunication; 2.problems vs benefits;
Angle:social, medical, technical

The technology of mobile phone has greatly changed people's way of living in more ways than one. And inevitably problems come with development socially, medically and technically.
We all experience the changes brought by mobile phones. Socially speaking, dramatic changes have taken place in our daily life. In the past before the use of mobile technology, we made appointments with people and had personal meeting with them. Thus we got our business done while enhancing our personal relationship with people. Whereas now when most of businesses can be done with a phone call, seldom do we feel the closeness to people and then relationship gets estranged, even family members get drifted apart.
As regards to medical aspect, we are exposed to the potential harm of radiation caused by mobile phones which is emitting and receiving electronic signals all the time. We are suffering from brain cancer and other diseases which were never heard of in the past. And in terms of technology, after indulging ourselves in the convenience brought by mobile phones, we keep noticing the fact that other related industries is less satisfactory. We need to broaden the net width to keep up with the communication need, and we are having problem connecting all our devices to our mobile phones so as to get everything remotely controlled.
However, all above mentioned problems can hopefully be solved. Personal relationship can be repaired by holding other social activities such as parties and conferences; medical risks can also be reduced by introducing the use the wireless headphones and getting the radiation level under control; technological problems can as well be solved with the development in the relevant industries. Considering the positive changes introduced by mobile phones, I strongly believe that there are more benefits than problems. Without this technology, we could never raise our work efficiency to such an unprecedentedly level, and we could never keep in touch with our friends and families all the time, and we can never free ourselves from the monotonous office work.

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走江湖看我 · 发表于 2011-10-26 13:46:42

占楼先~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[雅思杂谈] 12天冲刺雅思，作文集中帖

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