最近的essay

11gyhutib5 · 发表于 2013-4-13 04:06:52

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It is true that the number of visitors has now increased in recent years for many reasons. Clearly tourists are obviously of benefit from travelling around the world in many respects. There are many causes to drive more tourists to travel than in the past. The main reason that people travel more than the past is the improving living standards. That means they can afford the cost of travel, such as accommodation, tickets diet and so on. If they cannot afford the high expense of their journey, they are unable to go anywhere even if they want to go. Furthermore, the fast pace of life make people feel exhausted and they are often too busy to spare time to refresh themselves. Travelling, therefore, give them a chance to escape from the daily grind to relieve themselves. The developing of modern transports also provides a possibility for the booming of the tourism industry. Airplanes, for example, enable people to travel abroad without spending too much time. When workers have recharged themselves, they could devote themselves to heavy daily work, which in turn enable people to travel again. It seems that the benefits are just the causes of travelling for many people, but they can still benefit from travel in many sides. First of all, having a wonderful trip can enrich their life experiences. If you have never gone somewhere, you cannot have any specific feeling or thinking in such things. A great journey may not only give us an opportunity to live life to the full, but also make us broaden our horizon. Then we may keep an open mind and have a positive outlook on our life and the future as well. In other words, it is not simply a way of travelling but a window to a colourful life. To sum up, more travelers tend to travel around than ever before because they can be greatly of benefit from this kind of things. For these people, they not only lead a colorful life, but live a happy life as well.

11gyhutib5 · 发表于 2013-4-13 13:04:11

泽马浪人 · 发表于 2013-4-13 13:20:54

我只会打分在国内这作文可以打到6.5分

11gyhutib5 · 发表于 2013-4-13 17:44:02

真的吗，虽然对自己没什么信心，但听了还是挺高兴的
可惜是自己改的，所以想听听别人的意见，谢谢楼上回复

修水人 · 发表于 2013-4-14 04:05:37

这是剑几的题呀？

gxki3453 · 发表于 2013-4-14 06:54:31

Travelling, therefore, give them a chance to escape from the daily grind to relieve themselves
改成Travelling, therefore, gives them a chance to escape from the daily grind to relieve their pressure.
The developing of modern transports also provides a possibility for the booming of the tourism industry.
改成The development of modern transports also provides a possibility for the booming of the tourism industry
现在有事，所以只是草草看了一下。蛮流畅的，有的地方用法也很地道。
小的语法错误和少量不地道的表达是致命伤，给你改的这两个地方就有体现。
规避语法错误，保持现在的流畅，以及语言再地道一些，就可以上7了
祝好运~

听雨如诗 · 发表于 2013-4-14 17:46:34

回家了..
第一句感觉有点问题It is true that the number of visitors has now increased in recent years for many reasons. Clearly tourists are obviously of benefit from travelling around the world in many respects.感觉now和recent years有点重复，tourists are of benefit from这个似乎也有点别扭，be of n和be adj是一样，tourists are beneficial from travelling,这个就明显感觉有点不通顺了,直接说benefit from就可以了，简单粗暴
第二段Furthermore, the fast pace of life make people feel exhausted and they are often too busy to spare time to refresh themselves.这个错误出现两次了，楼主要当心了，makes,记得加s
第三段which in turn enable people to travel again.第三次出现这个错误...enables
If you have never gone somewhere, you cannot have any specific feeling or thinking in such things. 这句话感觉有点口语化，总觉得出现you怪怪的，换种说法吧，感觉方法还蛮多的。
but also make us broaden our horizon，直接说but also broaden our horizon就可以了
and the future as well，as well去掉吧
最后一段抛开语法错误不说，和前面也有些重复，paraphrase一下吧，动作大点
To sum up, more travelers tend to travel around than ever before because they can be greatly of benefit from this kind of things. For these people, they not only lead a colorful life, but live a happy life as well. 把happy换掉吧，fulfilling啥的都可以..
祝楼主好运

11gyhutib5 · 发表于 2013-4-15 01:09:44

这个是剑8的G类第1套大作文

11gyhutib5 · 发表于 2013-4-15 12:50:14

单复数的问题是要好好注意一下,我平时就比较粗心不太注意这些细节.
第一遍的时候我用的是development后来改成了developing，因为想强调这个过程，看来这有点想当然了，查了下字典刚,根本就没这种用法
对，重复的问题挺严重的，所以每一句我想改成这样.: It is true that the number of visitors has now increased in recent years for many reasons. Clearly tourists can profit from travelling around the world in many respects
Without such kind of travelling experience, it is hard to form any specific expression on these placese.
最后一段，想了下，改成这样，觉得对文章的原因概括不够，所以:
To sum up, after being able to afford their travel, more people are travelling around than ever before. Meanwhile, they can be greatly of benefit from travelling to live life to the full.

11gyhutib5 · 发表于 2013-4-15 16:08:00

其实我基础特别差，高考英语没及格，以至于去了一个不太好的学校，曾经对英语有种本能的恐惧，但现在为了自己的梦想花了很多时间学英语，才把新概念1和2背完，感觉对自己帮助挺大的，准备背3但是因为基础不好，在学1和2的时候又参加了一次考试，除了作文提高了0。5分其它没没动口语还少了0。5分。感觉自己考前听力和阅读题目做的太少了，5月底准备再考一次。但因为自己一个人学习，所以想找人帮看下作文。不求能考7只希望考个6分，上次在论坛里发了好几篇一起，可能是太长了，把大家吓到了，所以这次只发一篇，所以非常感谢上面的几位朋友

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