大作文求批【我已经觉得主申这篇登峰造极了。。。】
主申同学今天就写了这一篇作文，收到ACS结果信后，比较high，憋了两个小时，写出了这篇，经过我帮忙改动【我已经觉得我写不出这么好的了】后，再贴出来请大家帮忙看下。如果能得到tx们认同，我们就放心多了。。。但是有问题也请尽管批~<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
题目：1 Lectures were used in the past as a good way of teaching a large number of students. As new technology is now available for education, some people suggest that there is no justification for lectures. To what extent do you agree or disagree?<br />
以下正文：<br />
<br />
Nowadays, profiting from the development of new technology, an increasing number of individuals tend to perform their studies through new technological methods rather than lectures. Thus, traditional teaching methods are greatly challenged. Some even insist that lectures should be totally replaced and avoided. From my point of view, lectures are still playing a crucial role in our teaching system. <br />
<br />
Admittedly, we have benefited a lot from the invaluable new technology. In the first place, people now can get the resources to help their studies more conveniently. The resourceful internet provides all kinds of information; therefore, one can find out any academic related information using the well-designed search facility. Furthermore, the internet as a study tool can save us a vast of money and time. Taking the online courses for example, it enables a busy person to study just at home without consuming time on the way to school, besides, online courses usually cost much less.<br />
<br />
However, lecture has its own features which cannot be substituted. First of all, man is by nature a social animal. Only studying together with others by talking, discussing and arguing can one learn effectively. It is the lecture affords us the best suited condition. In addition, studying in a lecture is less distracted than sitting in front of the computer. More specifically, children who are lack of self-control and self-discipline will probably play games or chat with others. Last but not least, we are in an information overload time, one would spend much more time to identify what he/she really needs whereas teachers in the lecture will precisely point out the most essential and useful information. <br />
<br />
Although we can get a great amount of information through the new technology and even study at home by ourselves, it is much more realistic for us to learn in the lectures. Overall, I believe lectures with new technology synthesized will significantly enhance our teaching performance.<br />
<br />
[]
contributing to
觉得该是contributed by吧
an increasing number of individuals tend to perform their studies through new technological methods rather than lectures.
new technological methods，这里换个词比较好，比如具体的online
we have been benefiting a lot from the invaluable new technology.
一般时态即可
可以适当举些例子，比如现在很红的耶鲁哲学课系列
http://www.66xue.com/space-876308-do-blog-id-12538.html
还有MIT的IT课程视频
给评个分吧
再努力一把可以到6
我也觉得contributing to用的不对
contribute to 是为...做贡献的意思
也许可以用
taking advantage of
benefiting from
要想得高分，建议一边倒观点写
随便扫了下，考试时若能写出来这样的，应该能拿6.5+
我跟主申说：给你8分！实在不行也给你7分。。。。
自信过头了。。。从头刻苦
就是一边倒啊，第二段是让步段，第三段是自己的观点
我们觉得读起来还顺，就没有仔细看这个。查了下contributing to 有 ‘有助于’的意思。
benefit from因为其它段落里面用过了，所以不想重复，用了profitting from