作文求批
Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.<br />
To what extent do you agree or disagree? <br />
What other measures do you think might be effective?<br />
at least 250 words<br />
<br />
When it comes to the issue of whether to increase the price of petrol or other fossil fuel is the best way we can solve the increasingly disturbing traffic and pollution problems, personally, I cannot say it's a trick given by Mr. monopoly, but I think we can never solve this environmental concern at all by the given way.<br />
<br />
It seems might be true that to higher the price of petrol and diesel can contribute to the decrease of frequency of using of cars or airplanes on daily basis. However, none of us would like to go back to the inconvenient and inefficient status qua that people have to do much more and spend a great deal of time and expenses on travelling, which can be thought of as a kind of wasting of life compared with our currently modern lifestyle. What can be more disturbing is that some car owners who are not wealth enough, may be not able to afford the rocket-high prices any more; therefore, many of them will be deprived of interests they have had.<br />
<br />
Given that the added price can be used as financial resources to cop with various problems caused by fuel-consumed vehicles, it may sound reasonable. Nevertheless, in reality, while we have to concede that the price of the fossil oil has included many taxes imposed by governments in most of countries around the world and the related taxes have never been relieving, the fact is that the environment problems have never been changed positively.<br />
<br />
Therefore, the way of preventing our precious environment should not be met at expense of breaking the market rule and compulsively putting the heavy burden on the people, but should be taken in other measures. Actually, there are many effective approaches to achieve this aim including popularizing the hi-tech vehicle using green and renewable fuel and developing well-planned city road structure and reasonable traffic regulation. Also, raising the public consciousness of significance of environment protection is an important component of measures tackling the issue, which means encourage people to do their own affect.<br />
<br />
In conclusion, there is a generally a wide rang of ways we should try to improve the situation. I think increasing the price of necessaries of people’s lives is nether reasonable nor viable.<br />
<br />
___________________________<br />
使劲拍.特别是文法什么的.<br />
文章结构有些不符合雅思,已知情况.<br />
文章结尾部分直接插入bee同学的桥段,版权免责声明,呵呵.
文章好像有些长 拿手机写的 有些失控...
手机写作文，牛逼！
The total of word is 378, it's too long. When the essay asked for at least 250 words, the most you can write is up to 280. Try to control your writing by using short sentences. Certain sentences can be simplified. "t seems might be true that to higher the price of petrol", I think it should be "to increase the price of petrol".
Anyway, I think it should be no problem for you to score band 6 and above.
Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
What other measures do you think might be effective?
at least 250 words
When it comes to the issue of whether to increase the price of petrol or other fossil fuel is the best way we can solve the increasingly disturbing traffic and pollution problems, personally, I cannot say it's a trick given by Mr. monopoly, but I think we can never solve this environmental concern at all by the given way.
第一段第一句太长了，可以考虑分成两个句子。用前后指代来串联起来会更自然一点。
It seems might be true that to higher the price of petrol and diesel can contribute to the decrease of frequency of using of cars or airplanes on daily basis. However, none of us would like to go back to the inconvenient and inefficient status qua that people have to do much more and spend a great deal of time and expenses on travelling, which can be thought of as a kind of wasting of life compared with our currently modern lifestyle. What can be more disturbing is that some car owners who are not wealth enough, may be not able to afford the rocket-high prices any more; therefore, many of them will be deprived of interests they have had.
第二段
It seems might be true 好像语法不对 seem 跟 be 都是动词，要用也只能用maybe，但是用maybe 我也觉得很奇怪。建议直接去掉might be 或用possibly跟probably。
the decrease of frequency of using of cars or airplanes 好多of啊。 可以这么说 decreasing the frequency of cars and airplanes utilization……
do much more 貌似有点煞风景。 That on traveling, people have to take it with more effort and to spend a …..
disturb 用过就换词为好。Annoy。 后面跟的从句感觉需要重写……立意再斟酌斟酌……
Given that the added price can be used as financial resources to cop with various problems caused by fuel-consumed vehicles, it may sound reasonable. Nevertheless, in reality, while we have to concede that the price of the fossil oil has included many taxes imposed by governments in most of countries around the world and the related taxes have never been relieving, the fact is that the environment problems have never been changed positively.
第三段
cop with？不懂……
many taxes最好写 good amount of tax
Therefore, the way of preventing our precious environment should not be met at expense of breaking the market rule and compulsively putting the heavy burden on the people, but should be taken in other measures. Actually, there are many effective approaches to achieve this aim including popularizing the hi-tech vehicle using green and renewable fuel and developing well-planned city road structure and reasonable traffic regulation. Also, raising the public consciousness of significance of environment protection is an important component of measures tackling the issue, which means encourage people to do their own affect.
第四段
preventing our precious environment from what要写上去，不然就不完整了……
句子好长……我吃不消了……
In conclusion, there is a generally a wide rang of ways we should try to improve the situation. I think increasing the price of necessaries of people’s lives is nether reasonable nor viable.
最后一段好眼熟……
Given that the added price 是不是可以改为 Given that the increased price
Completely agree with you. Most of the sentences are too long. The longer you write, the more mistake you will make. A good essay doesn't mean you must use a lot of bombastic or difficult words. A good essay must keep your sentences short and clear. The content must straight to the points and to meet the requirement of the question. The longer sentence you write, will make you lose your focus at last. I also only scored 6 in my IELTS. I only took one time and scored 6.5 average. Plan to resit for the exam and aim for 7 and above.
刚才腾空去做了Cambridge8 test3的reading(有人反应比较难) 果然没用平行法倒着3-2-1做的 时间不够passage 1 有7个题没时间做 一共对了25 第二篇竟然学house 引经据典 连Roger_Bannister的事迹sub-four-minute miles都被引用详见这里 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roger_Bannister 只能崩溃了
但发现还是一个我最大的毛病在困扰我,那就是焦虑,慌乱,完全可以搞定的passage 3中的 3个题糊里糊涂的错(排除法就轻松搞定的). 这是在平时,考试时候各种慌乱,神经了,心脏不给力啊.
同时感谢楼上几位积极帮助 自己感觉就是作文看的少写的少 看的少是指缺少idiomatic 的表达方式 甚至语法错误无数..特别是在考场中 写的少的表现就是废话多,写起来没规矩,想把事说清楚 一下就350+ words了 还得练.
是啊 用swype这个输入软件写的很欢乐的啊 推荐
sure,it is really too long to be finished in half hour.