158654300 发表于 2012-3-10 09:54:43

这篇作文可以评多少分?



作文非本人所写,但是很好奇这篇文章可以评得了多少人,先卖个关子,看了大家的想法以后再说说自己的想法。<span></span> <br />
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<strong>University should accept equal number of male and female students in every subject.<br />
To what extend do you agree or disagree?</strong><br />
<br />
Although the idea of gender equality in society is a laudable concept, I believe a more modest adjustment of severely gender-imbalanced courses would be more practical than a draconian imposition of a 50/50 balance in all university courses.<br />
<br />
Some people feel that females are underrepresented and do not have equal opportunities in certain professions such as senior management and engineering while others believe society would be better served if more males worked in some professions such as nursing, translating and primary school teaching. Both groups feel that not only competition for university places but also social stereotyping plays a role here; that is, if a more gender-balanced workforce were visible, then more young people would feel that it would be socially acceptable for them to follow suit and enter professions that are traditionally associated with the apposite sex.<br />
<br />
I agree with these arguments but the correction of gender inequality and imbalance in the workplace cannot take place in the universities only-changes should be also be made in society as a whole, including education at the pre-university level. Furthermore, the sudden imposition of a rigid 50/50 gender balance in university classes, where there is usually , say, an 80/20 male/female ratio, would probably result in many highly qualified and highly motivated males losing out to some females who were not very academically qualified for those courses and possibly not very interested in pursuing those professions.



iri0c5a5d 发表于 2012-3-10 15:45:04



这个写法太不走寻常路了。不知道考官如何认为。。。。如果认可的话,可以6-7分吧?


qwda10222 发表于 2012-3-10 19:52:27



看到与全文水准不符的语法错误,可能是抄写失误或笔误。
我认为8-9分。


158654300 发表于 2012-3-10 22:28:43



哈哈,这是一篇范文,当然不是剑桥雅思给的,但是个人认为虽然句子结构复杂,也有一些不常用的词语,但是就task response来说没有做到,所以不是很认同这样的一篇范文。发上来看看大家的意见


9mf6f177 发表于 2012-3-11 04:36:48



此文给出了自己的观点啊,agree的地方说了,disagree的地方也说了,还有什么task response没有做到呢?




158654300 发表于 2012-3-11 14:36:10



就题目来看,应该是围绕university而言的,但是第二段写的是不同性别与不同行业的关系,和大学一点关系也没有。当然第三段承接了第二段的内容后提到大学,但是这样的话不需要用一段来描述吧?
个人认为,如果要写工作,先写大学里如果完全均等的男女招生比例会导致以后就业市场出现部分岗位供大于求,部分岗位供不应求。这样更围绕主题。


真特别 发表于 2012-3-12 00:11:57





文章要从第一段开始看,直接在谈大学,第二段也只是引申到工作,通篇来看主旨还是扣住主题的。
只是作者水平太高,看似写得闲云野鹤,其实是信手拈来,立意深刻。远远不是我们这些中国教育体系出来的人所能轻易达到的。感觉很像A POINT OF VIEW 里面那些英国作家的味道。
也就是说,这是一篇大多数中国考生都永远无法达到的精品范文。
LS的建议只是将其拉低到中国考生的惯用模式。

我发现的语法错误,只是 “changes should be also be made in society as a whole,” 这里不应该放两个be吧。低级错误,应该是笔误。

我粗略翻译一下,大家看看作者有没有做到task response吧。

“虽然提倡男女平等一直受到肯定,但在所有大学学科进行一半一半的一刀切很不靠谱,不如在一些严重失衡的专业进行温和的调整。

有人觉得女性在高级管理和工科类的职业领域没有得到平等机会,还有人觉得男性应该在护理翻译和小学教育领域发挥更大的作用。两方面都觉得,大学性别比例和整个社会的成见都应对此进行改变。也就是说,如果可以看到社会就业中的性别平衡实现了,年轻人会更乐于涉及那些传统上由异性主导的职业。

我赞同这些看法,纠正劳动力的性别失衡不能仅仅着眼于学校,改变应该是针对整个社会,包括大学之前的教育阶段。并且,如果对性别比例通常是2-8开的大学专业改成死板的对半开,会让在该专业本可以很好发展的男生让位给不太合格和没有兴趣的女生。”

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走过路过表错过 发表于 2012-3-12 08:28:46



不谈考试要求,这算是一篇好文章。
但要说是范文,最起码字数应该够吧。


158654300 发表于 2012-3-12 14:20:20



还有人对task response有看法的吗?现在是1:1的赞同与不赞同


细细蒙蒙雨 发表于 2012-3-12 20:00:16



我同意YUEXMA的看法。大学教育的目的说到底是为社会培养人才,所以作者跳出了这个题目文字层面的框架,立论上是切中要害的。


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