最难缠钉子户
发表于 2011-1-23 12:24:03
Today's Topic
Some people say that developing should firstly expand tourism. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
最难缠钉子户
发表于 2011-1-24 00:04:06
这篇文章若还不能得7分，我也没信心继续复习了。错误是没找到，虽然我已经用上放大镜了。
结构合理，通篇都很切题，词汇量也很大，变化丰富。特别是这个结尾，收的非常棒，能做到既不带个人感情色彩还有强烈的感染力。
可能需要注意的也就是写作时间，和首段背景介绍太多。
最难缠钉子户
发表于 2011-1-24 11:15:38
学习了，同样的意思经过你的改动后看上去高级多了。555，真是打击啊。看我还要走的路还很长。十分感谢。
最难缠钉子户
发表于 2011-1-24 16:26:36
这篇文章花了我四个多小时，其中穿插着很多事情，又接孩子，又烧了一顿饭。写着写着原本清晰地思路也开始混乱。最后总体看了一下，感觉好像开头还行，后面逻辑不太合理。
The twentieth essay
Some people say that developing should firstly expand tourism. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Answer:
The countries on this planet are developing rapidly because of world peace in this day and age. As tourism has brought a vast number of profits to some countries, some people start to argue whether give the priority to tourism when a country is developing.
As a matter of fact, developing tourism firstly would really benefit a nation for various areas. First and foremost, the gorgeous tourist attractions of nations would lead them becoming more famous around the world. In consequence, there are large numbers of exotic investment would be attracted thereby boosting domestic economic progress. Subsequently, Those exotic investment could be used to develop another aspects of national progressing. Thailand and Indonesia are the best illustrated examples to confirm this point. They have benefited from tourism enormously. But, on the other hand, it is seems like that they are just famous for their natural beauty.
So. However, giving priority to tourism development is accompanied by some negative effects. Firstly, the native culture would be impacted by tourism. The host tourists from foreign countries would bring not only huge profits but also diverse culture what would erode domestic culture. Furthermore, numerous tourists would cause some environmental problems and drive up the incidence of crime. Too many people could put a strain on the already crowded ground. Severe traffic jams would be occur; thefts would easier find their targets. Because of these respects, a developing country would has not enough capabilities to control the situation as it just develop tourism at first. In the course of time, it would lost its main cultural identity.
Summarily, in my opinion, the development of tourism is important to nations, but giving priority to it might cause a consequence —— countries earn huge profits with sacrificing their own cultural identities.
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疯浪淘金
发表于 2011-1-24 22:54:43
这篇问题还是很明显的·，语法错误少的原因是，我先在纸上写，然后写完了再打出来，word有自动语法检查，所以很多写的时候的错误被更正了。
另外，句式重复的还是比较多，很多词我写的时候拼命想换一个表达，但是·就是想不出来，只好还是一个词来回用，比如environment behavior
我觉得写作提高是需要长期坚持才能有效果的，没有太多窍门，就是多读多写，积累得多了慢慢就好了。 每天写一篇很好，坚持下去，但是写完了还要多分析，每一篇看看能怎么改进，下次写的时候就注意一些之前的问题。 加油吧，哥们儿我看好你的。
顾冬连
发表于 2011-1-25 02:32:46
不要被打击。。。我写作是8分的。。。加油！！
tz1c8v9b2
发表于 2011-1-25 06:40:11
admire 高人！
最难缠钉子户
发表于 2011-1-25 12:56:02
加油！你一定行的。
最难缠钉子户
发表于 2011-1-25 14:39:33
没想到我这个贴子竟然有那么多高人相助，实在是备感荣幸。 谢谢
最难缠钉子户
发表于 2011-1-26 00:41:23
今天老婆生病，请假一天。蜜蜂兄，不好意思，今天要让你孤军奋战了，加油。