soro0725
发表于 2011-2-9 03:19:02
闪动，你真有毅力！15号我去考A类了，就是那篇文章，可惜我已经记不起来我写的什么了，还是老毛病，觉得没用了我就神游着考
月官鹏
发表于 2011-2-9 09:48:17
终于又见茉莉姐，特来问好！
tz1c8v9b2
发表于 2011-2-9 14:25:16
这两天太冷了懒得打字。。。冰箱里拿出来的东西温度比我的手还高。。。真惨。。。
几点建议：
1.扣题。不要随便改题目中的词除非你有很大的把握这个替换是正确的。有些词不能互换的，比如social和societal.雅思偏题偏一点点都扣分严格的。
2.第一段的逻辑一定要清晰。就老老实实一句话说正方观点，一句话说反方观点，一句话说两者之一的优点然后表示自己赞同。有能力的话再复杂，但是最基本的东西不能少。
3.LZ在练新的题目之前，可以把之前写的再改进，然后自己有一个写好句子的概念，然后再练新的。
现在的后面的论证已经比较成熟了，句子的用法都提高的很多。开头练一下，开头结尾记得点题，就比较完美了。
土豆烧排骨
发表于 2011-2-9 19:04:58
这篇大致写的不错。思路也清晰。
我从没看到过realise my dream的用法，想可能是英式用法吧，然后google 了一下，可以作为参考:To realise your dream is not exactly the same as to make you dream come true as it refers more to something you have worked towards, whereas a dream come true could be something unattainable such as meeting Elvis.
dpande7p4lm
发表于 2011-2-10 01:27:31
向楼主学习跟随脚步，照例先在economist找素材，写完却有离题之嫌，究竟equal number是指男女比例的绝对化还是只表示女性参加工作的数量大大上升？
题目：
Some workplaces tend to a equal number of women and men.
Do you think it is positive or negative for the social development?
正文：
Today women make up equality of professional workers in many countries, not only this phenomenon changes the status that millions of people who were once dependent on men have taken control of their own economic fates, but also it comes with frictions to social development. Dealing with the consequences will be one of the great challenges of next generation.
Across the world women's economic empowerment is something to be welcomed, not least it liberates the productivity. When physical strengh mattered more than brains, men had an inherent advantage; now brainpower has overweighed the two sexes are more evenly matched. A skilled-dependent economy means that countries will have to make better use of female population, increasing women's participation in the labour market to male level will definitely boost the GDP (Gross Domestic Product). Admittedly that women earn substantially less than men on average, firms are likewisely to recruit female for sake of cost and profit.
Granted, one obvious issue is that women are still under-presented at the top in organizations, the higher ranks of management are usually dominated by men. This no doubt owes something to prejudice, it is that wemen are judged by exactly the same standard as men, however the reality is that many women are forced to choose between motherhood and careers. One possible alternative solution for this problem might be providing after-school care system.
The trend towards more women working is almost certain to continue, despite of the negativities, women as well as men will be the beneficiaries of this tendency.
最难缠钉子户
发表于 2011-2-10 01:41:44
我是看别人回忆的，可能是不太准确。
最难缠钉子户
发表于 2011-2-10 05:03:30
真羡慕啊，茉莉姐神游都比我考得好
最难缠钉子户
发表于 2011-2-10 14:03:25
谢谢EmilyS
还好，insult性质的句子可是大忌，我自己写的时候倒没感觉出来，幸好你看到了。
分析得很彻底，收获颇多。
Thanks for your time
最难缠钉子户
发表于 2011-2-10 21:54:59
谢谢Emilys ,你让我懂得了好多句型正确的用法。这些是从书上不太能看明白的。
通过看你修改后的作文，茅塞顿开。为了不让以后的作文五颜六色一大堆，我会继续努力地
Thanks for your time.
最难缠钉子户
发表于 2011-2-11 08:36:36
icewd TX文章写得好深，我google了好多才算是看明白了。尽微薄之力修改了一下，不对的地方多多包涵。